Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Have a problem getting personally offended when another child is rude to my daughter

help...... i can't help but to get angry at a child that is rude / nasty to my daughter.....i get should i just let the other little girl be rude and unfair or do i stand up for my daughter....????????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Mar. 17, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • Stand up for your daughter. If not, she might not even know that she is getting treated unfairly. I know exactly what you are going throuh. My son has a problem standing up for himself because he is super nice. The other day he had a friend over who was not being so nice and i had to tell them "you hurt my son's feelings". The friend said sorry and all was well.

    Answer by mamaada at 10:01 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Teach your daughter to stand up for herself. Kids have to learn to say no and enough is enough when people are rude to them. Mom or Dad is not always going to be there to come to the rescue. If you keep standing up for her, she will never learn to do it for herself.

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:11 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • i am the same way when my friends daughter snatches stuff away or pushes my 9 month old down or is just flat out rude to him. I dont get rude with her, i just explain that its not nice and she shouldnt do these things. she's only 14 months. but you should stand up for her.

    Answer by mommy20081 at 10:16 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Thank you........ She stays with her grandparents afterschool and comes to our house everyday to play......basically uses my daughter and my home..........the invite is never returned.........also, she will tell my daughter sometimes that she doesn't want to play with her...they are 5........ahhhh.....soo frustrating........

    Answer by Avaglamour at 11:19 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • teach your child what makes a good friendship and what doesn't, then teach her how to stand up for herself.

    Yesterday my dd (7) finally did it. I felt just like you. She told the other little girl "No, I will not play with you, you use me and I'm sick of it." "You come with my mom and me everywhere and play with me until someone better comes around you always leave me" "I'm sick of you hurting my feelings"

    Oh I was proud... She told her off in little kids words

    Answer by 2girlsMom.MN at 12:13 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • So I'm not the only one with a little girl who has this problem. AAAh girls can be such brats but it's their parents that don't teach them right from wrong. My daughter and I are constantly used. These brattty girls come over, spend the night, come with us on outings, eat our food, eat our snacks and never return the favor then have the nerve to ditch my daughter the minute a different friend comes around.

    Answer by 2girlsMom.MN at 12:16 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Okay, of course you get mad its YOUR daughter, but .... you have to let kids handle their business, even if we want to get involved. Overall I'd work on TEACHING your daughter how to stand up for herself. Talk about the issue, "What did you think about what ____ did today?" "How did you feel about it?" "I thought it was rude because _______." Talk/work out ways to respond to similar situations.
    I can understand stepping in at times but especially since they are so close in age I'd be inclined to stand back and see how my child handles it, let her deal with the consequences and only step in if it continues/gets out of hand etc. and work on teaching her because
    if you ALWAYS step in then 1. you are stealing her voice 2. how will she figure out how to stand up for herself when you are not there.
    You have the perfect controlled situation to do some assertative training (howz that for a silver lining -- LOL)

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:58 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • We have a little girl that comes over for a weekly play date that is bossy and rude. My children are very nice to her and tolerant of her, saying that she is younger (my daughter is only 6 months older than her) or that "she's a guest". But I can see they get upset at her attitude.

    I have taken the children aside after the play date and explained to them that they do not have to always do what she wants to do, always let her go first, and generally be bossed about by her. I keep telling them that they need to speak up, politely, when they don't like what is happening, rather than sulk and be unhappy for the duration of the visit. They are slowly coming around to this idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Get over it, your child needs to take care of business on her own (unless there is danger). You are setting her up to see a pattern: mom takes care of it. Although hard NOT to do, she does need social skills of her own to deal because you won't and can't always fend for her. Take the advice about talking from the other posters. And, I hope you don't personally go after the other child because that is just a wrong. You are more apt to get lemonade from lemons, if you know what I mean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.