Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should a husband get to sit around all day and do nothing while he is layed off because he feels he deserves it?

My husband acts as if he busts his ass 12 hours a day while I am the sahm.He doesn't bust his ass, he's a carpenter and it's boring work, I tried it out couldn't do it. Anyway he works 8 hours then spends an hour at the bar afterword. He gets defensive and downright pissy if I utter a complaint about the bar hoping and next week he starts a layoff. I told him I hated it when he is layed off because he doesn't lift a finger to help.heck he doesn't even play with his son! He got pissy and said he is entitled to sit around while he's laid off because he works so hard the rest of the time!

 
wheresthewayout

Asked by wheresthewayout at 1:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 29 (39,885 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • No! What is he thinking? Give him things to do. Or have him watch your son while you do something for yourself for once! I am a SAHM and when my hubby gets home from work, he still helps me with the kids, finishes dinner, dishes, laundry. He knows it's a job being a SAHM and one person can't do it all. And on the weekends he looks for his To Do list on the fridge!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 1:47 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Oh hell no. Ride his ass and have a chore list everyday. Thats bs
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 1:42 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I can totally see how he would want a break. And of course you would like a break as well. Maybe during his time off you guys can give each other breaks so neither one of you is overwhelmed.

    Ask him when your break is...aren't you entitled to one too since you work hard? If he say's no then I'd be done making his dinner, washing his clothes and cleaning house. Honest to goodness. If he doesn't appreciate you then I would waste an ounce of energy helping him out. I'd be going to my mom's house, and leave the kids home with him. Let him do it all for awhile and see what he thinks.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 1:42 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • No...NO..No...
    he sounds like a little boy...
    I think it is ok to take a break...but no he needs to help around the house
    EVEN WHEN he is working!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:43 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • He is more immature then our own little boy, who loves to help money out!! My husband doesn't see me as a wife he see's me as a nanny, housekeeper and a body with boobs that he freely gropes at and is insulted when I get irritated.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:48 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • My husband was laid of the first 5 of 6 weeks this year and I would leave to go to work in the morning and he would be playing video games and in the same spot when I got home. Drove me nuts!! He didn't pick out or make supper, do any laundry, vacuum, anything.
    jenniferlee_12

    Answer by jenniferlee_12 at 1:51 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • My husband gets laid off every winter. He stays home with the kids and I work overtime to make up the pay cut. We make a pretty good team. He does not run off to the bar every night and yes, he does help me out a lot. When it comes around to layoff time he welcomes it because he is tired of being outside 12 hours a day in below 0 weather so I do let him have some fun, but no he's not downright lazy. Maybe you guys can work something out. Try not to use words that will bring his defenses up. Validate that when he works he does work hard, because he really feels like he does. Don't put down his trade, we will get defensive. Once you respectfully break down his defensiveness then you can have the open conversation you need to have about everything else.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 1:55 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Truthfully though OP, as I re read your question. It sounds like you "may" make him feel like he doesn't do anything anyway. You're saying his job isn't that hard and he hardly does anything there...well in a man's mind, that does little to motivate them to do more. Maybe, just maybe, if you try complimenting him when he does do stuff he'll do more. OR maybe you should try looking at the positives rather than the negatives....just to help you be able to not be so angry about the situation.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 1:56 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • sorry typo he will get defensive, not we! oops!
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 1:56 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • My DH spent the first couple weeks of being laid off on "semi-paid vacation" and now that he's got that out of his system he is getting a bunch of things done around the house he didn't have time for when he was working long hours this fall.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:59 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN