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How do I keep my child from hitting me?

My son is 4 years old. If I dont let him have his way he will hit or kick me. Today he punched me in the face when I was trying to put him on his school bus. I am so frusterated. We used to spank, but are trying not to. Sometimes it still happens, but that is only when he has done something completely wrong. I am just so lost. I dont know what to do. I feel like a horrible parent, and felt completly stupid in front of his bus driver today. Am I the only one whose 4 year old is hitting me? Isnt this supposed to be a phase around the age of 2? Help please!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • I always told my kids. "If you hit me I hit back, and I hit harder." My kids knew I meant it and they never raised a hand to me, or kicked me.

    Answer by Marwill at 2:20 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • If you don't want to spank try this. Well, my cousin had the same problem, it started with the first hit because he didn't get what he wanted and then it kept on. Well what she did was whenever he wanted something and knew he could not have it she would not let him have it he would hit her. Also, she started taking things that he loved from him little by little, every time he hit her she would take a toy away. When he did not hit for a day or so he would get his toy back and maybe a treat. Its hard to do, but it worked, it took about two weeks, I know that seems like a long time but its better then being hit all the time. but keep in mind that if you have a baby sitter, make sure she does the same thing. I hope this helps some what.

    Answer by CarsBars08 at 2:25 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Hitting a parent is "completely wrong". A bare bottom spanking is in order.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Thank you for your answers. Usually when he hits me it is in public, so it is hard for me to dicipline him there. Like today for example, will he even remember the hitting when he returns from school? The reason he hit me is because he wanted to ride his bike down the driveway to his bus. He doesnt know how to use the breaks. So he couldnt. Therefore he hit me. Punched actually in the face and kicked me several times. I was so embarrsed. I want to take his bike away, but will he even "get" the consiquence so long after the fact?! My mom said I should hide it and tell him the cops saw him and came and took his bike away. I dont know. I am just so lost, and feeling miserable...


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • i think a spanking is long past overdue in this situation. i don't spank often, but surely that would warrant a spanking. if my child punched me in the face i would leave no doubt in their mind that it is not acceptable and they will never do it again.
    if you can't discipline your child in public than it will not work. that teaches him that his rotten attitude is acceptable because you're not at home. you need to level the field and make him understand that he will be disciplined no matter where you are.

    my daughter is 4 and she would never punch my face. never. i don't mean to sound harsh but that boy needs discipline.

    Answer by jcsmummy at 3:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Oh he remembers if you took his bike away trust me.

    Answer by CarsBars08 at 3:40 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I have a little girl thats going to be 5 in may..I finally got her under control parents would let her get away with murder i tell ya...we was at thier house and she thought she would smack me because she didnt want to go home yet I gave her a spank and sit her down for 5 minutes she came and told me sorry before I let her out..but when we are at my parents house I seriously have to watch her because she thinks she is a queen over there...if you dont get him under control now you never daughter has never laid a hand on me since then..but she will try other things like throwing things and hitting the wall trying to break it

    Answer by TalindasMommy at 3:47 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Every time that he tries to hit you...stop it before it happens, hold his hand firmly and say in your best stern voice "you do NOT GET TO hit mommy." If he still tries to strike you than start taking toys away that he loves. Put him on a timeout bench away from toys or fun. If he does this in a store, immediately leave the store and put him in the car until he calms down. Even if there is a cart full of groceries leave the store, buckle him in his car seat and let him have a tantrum in the car while you wait outside the car. Shower him with praise and attention when he is good and take away the attention when he is bad. But, most of all, be consistent. If you let him get away with it sometimes that sends a confusing message to him. He needs to no it is never okay to hit and the punishment must happen whenever he tries to hit you, if that means missing the bus than he will have to miss it until he learns hitting is bad.

    Answer by Colleen801 at 9:16 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • When my best friend had her little boy, I visited her house and saw him hit one of his sisters. My friend immediately began spanking him. As she did she repeated the phrase, "We do not hit""We do not hit". I thought to myself that something did not seem right with that statement paired with that action! Spanking is hitting! He is hitting and acting out in response to not getting his way. At some point, hitting you has gotten him what he wants. Maybe just one or two times, but enough to encourage him to continue that behavior. Just like at the store, he knows you are limited in what you can do in public, he probably knows what each persons limitations are. Try to catch him being good and reward him with items that really motivate him. When he does hit you, take him to time out, with little to no talking to him, then sit him in the chair and say, "This is good sitting". (cont)

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 11:25 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • This is time out for hitting, etc. Take a positive approach. Instead of saying,"Quit Hitting mommy", say," Oh, lets have nice, quiet hands today. Then reward him for doing this. Good Luck!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 11:35 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

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