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When is bad behavior no longer just a phase.

I have 3 girls, but it's my 2 youngest ones that are beginning to act up more & more. Beginning with my 7year old acts good in school but somedays she comes home super cranky. She'll play with her little sister then pinches her ,& when I make her go to her room for timeout she'll start saying things like ,I hate you,Iwish you were dead , I'm going to kill you when I'm older. My youngest dd is copying her.My hubby thinks it's just a phase their going through , but I'm not so sure.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • personally i would not think its a stage...i would think its behavior problems...i don't know what i'd do and/or if it would work if i were in your shoes, but i always think supernanny has some great tips...especially the part where you have to be the parent and set the boundaries and limits and rules...personally i would set up a behavior system w/ a set of rules and a reward chart...b/c YOU have to change these behaviors, not depend on your child to change them...i guess right now she thinks it's ok to speak ugly to you like that, but you need to let her know it's not ok and won't be tolerated...you'll have to think of some ways to discipline and punish her, depending on what you think will work...always remember to praise her good behavior...whenever she's doing something right remember to tell her how wonderful you think she is...then when she's speaking ugly you can speak harsher and tell her that you won't allow her
    Elizabeth1015

    Answer by Elizabeth1015 at 2:43 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • to talk to you like that...then follow through with the punishment you have decided to use...from personal experience a child will be an angel at school but they come home and walk all over mom and dad b/c they know which buttons to push and what to do to get everyone's attention (good or bad)
    oh, and maybe you can squeeze in a little time each day to have with just one child at a time, so they are getting some one-on-one attention and not having to act out to get attention
    good luck
    Elizabeth1015

    Answer by Elizabeth1015 at 2:45 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I don't believe bad behavior is EVER a stage or phase. When it first happens, nip it right then and there or you'll have a MUCH harder time of it down the road.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I agree with Anon.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:01 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • It is not a phase. Better put some discipline on those girls.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • The saying she hates you is pretty normal but the killing part and hurting her sister is not. You need to stop the behavior NOW, before she seriously hurts her sister or someone else. Do NOT tolerate her behavior or her sisters. The younger one is just copying what her sister is doing.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:02 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Have you read the book  How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk? It's a really good book that will help you learn how to get your kids to open up to you. It may not really be you she's mad at. You can learn how to help her through whatever feelings she's having and at the same time let her know that what she's saying is not OK. Also, be sure to let her know that her behavior is bad but you think she is wonderful :)

    TessaBianca

    Answer by TessaBianca at 9:08 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

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