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Will this change?

Me and my boyfriend are 20. Our daughter is 9 months and I am pregnant with our second (hopefully last). My BF acts like he did when he was 17 and had no worries. He hangs out with his friends all the time and party, a day cant go by without him seeing them, and he doesnt help that much with our daughter. Has anyone else experience a 'Daddy' crissis and did it ever get better. I dont know how much longer I can deal with it because I'm lonely but I love him sooo much

 
SabrenaLeigh

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 4:02 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • He is not realizing that his life is changed now. His responsibility is not to his buddies, but to you and your daughter. You have to sit down and have an adult conversation with him about it. Explain to him these things. It sounds like he has a bit of growing up to do... Goog Luck!
    onyourterms

    Answer by onyourterms at 4:06 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Get married, the kids need stability it will help him grow up. Go to a Baptist church together if you can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I know what you mean my boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years and we have a 2 year old he is 28 and JUST now (like in recent months) decided to settle his crap and be a family man. He's probably not going to realize what he has until he loses it or at least things he's lost it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • to onyour terms: i've told him a million times and to anonymous: we are getting married in july and I'm not a religious person and neither is he
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 4:10 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • sit down and explain to him that party time is over he has responsibilities now. Its still okay to go out every once in a while. but make sure your family is taken care of first and if he doesn't understand or doesn't want to change or at least try, then your better off without him..
    lalasmom8

    Answer by lalasmom8 at 4:12 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Once you bring a new person into the world priorities change. Now it is all about the child. If he didn't want the responsibility of children, then he should have taken better precautions. At 20 you are still gaining maturity and learning about yourselves. Now that you have made the decision to have children, he needs to come to terms with being an adult. See if he will agree to cut the buddy nights to one a week. You also should have a girls' night out once a week. He should have responsibilities around the home and for the children.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:14 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Well in my situation no. lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I wish I had more advice. The only thng that will make this change is if he matures to see that he needs to change....
    onyourterms

    Answer by onyourterms at 4:16 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • God, I hope this helps.............. i would tell ur BF you require him to be part of the family and not just and extention of. Becuz most men tend to "grow up" (realize how important their children are) around 30 and sometimes not even then............you may have to just tell him that you wont tolerate this behavior from him, if you dont or you continue to let this behavior take place it wont change, but remember you can't change him, u can only steer him toward what you want him to do. I have been there and believe me i wish i would have known that me putting my foot down about him staying home was the answer before it was to late, now we are on a visitation schedual, I hope that all goes well with you and your kiddos.........GOOD LUCK
    cashena

    Answer by cashena at 4:16 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I think its time you sat him down and explained to him that its just time that he grows up, yeah you guys are both young however you are going to have two kids and its time to act like it, he needs to learn where his priorities are, instead of screwing around all the time, he needs to be a father
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2009