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How do you stop a 3 year old from hitting while he is at school?

So today I went and picked up my toddler. He is in preschool. He loves school. But today when I went to pick him up I was told he hit several kids today. One of the girls he hit actually CHOKED him. (I say good for her- but I don't want that to happen again) He got time out at school, but what do I do about it at home? This happend hours before I picked him up. He only watches Handy Manny on TV, no wrestiling or anything like that. What do I do????? I am too embarrassed to even put my screen name. Thanks for any advice.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You can only reinforce that hitting is not okay. It needs to be addressed by the preschool teachers immediately upon it occurring. I don't recommend spanking after the fact, just regular talks on an on-going basis (every day) until the behavior stops.

    If he were a little older (5 or older) then I would use the "boy, you must really have a crush on those girls to be hitting them all the time..." tactic, but he is probably too young to understand it.

    When I was a preschool teacher, we didn't yell or scold the children - we simply stated calmly, "It is not okay for you to hit another child. It hurts their arm and makes them feel bad." And then we would show them "appropriate touches", like patting their back gently. We would also have the other child repeat, "Please do not hit me, Michael. It really hurts and I don't like it." As a mom, you can make the two kids do this when you pick your child up from school.

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 4:26 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • At our preschool we have 2 students (girls lol) that have a SERIOUS issue with hitting and biting. We were told by their mothers to call everytime they did it. And we do, so everytime they get in trouble the mothers come and spank and put their own children in time out. NO huggy cuddles, just discipline and they leave.

    One mother actually leaves her work to come. She is very supportive.

    Of course this wouldnt work for everyone! lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • You need to have his dad talk to him! He needs to learn never to hit a girl but he is still only 3 so give him a little time to mature,but stay with him if this is getting habitual and teach him corrective behavior in private like a spanking!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • OK- so I am supposed to spank him if he hits kids? Won't that send the wrong message?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Anon at 4:15. I hate that argument. When we spank our kids we teach at the same time, I tell them what they did wrong, how to do it right, and not to do it again. I also expect an apology. In this case for the child that was hit as well.

    Kids dont do connect the dots like adults do. Showing a bit of corporal punishment is a an acceptable way to show your child who is in charge, not him. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • If this is the first time I'd relax, its kinda "normal" behavior and he's testing boundaries etc. Even if he doesn't see hitting on t.v. I'm sure he's seen it somewhere. He needs imed. consequences for his behavior, so hopefully the teachers took care of it right then and there. Since he's 3 you could ask him about what happened at school and process it at home and reinforce what the teacher said and talk about appropiate ways to touch etc.
    IF its continuous... then we can go into consequences at home, other behavioral tech. etc. but if its the first time and infrequent... I would not say blow it off, but I would say don't beat yourself over it.... just about EVERY KID has HIT at least once in their lives.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:48 PM on Mar. 17, 2009