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should i stay or should he GO

my bf and i are having a baby due in august.ever since i told him that i was prego and it was confirmed by drs he seems to be offstandish and refuses to tell his mommy about it. now we live in VA and since we got here a month ago he has not made any effort to find a job or help out (we live with my aunt) which forces me to get a job working minimum wage. we seem to not get along all that well but he is the baby's father and im just so confused..he seems to not want anything to do with the baby he wont even help out with a name..advice is appriciated but negative comments are not and will be flagged.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • If he's not interested in the baby or a job, think how frustrated you'll be when the baby is born. Talk bluntly with him about your feelings, fears, etc, and go from there.

    Answer by EireLass at 7:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • There has to be a sit down, adult conversation about this. Something is obviously bothering him, and you are having a baby with him. You and him need to talk about hings before the baby comes. Communication is key...

    Answer by onyourterms at 7:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Some guys just don't "get it" until the birth of the baby. Show him some baby name books and keep trying to involve him in the pregnancy as much as possible. As far as getting a job, lay the law down and tell him to get a job or get lost. I would try the nice way first to see if anything sparks his interest. Men handle the birth of a child much different than women. Hang in there... message me if you want someone to talk to I live a state over. :)


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I'd be telling him to pull his weight or go home. Even a roommate would help pay bills. You can't make him care about things but you can set boundaries. It is obvious that if he is this way now then it's only going to get worse later. It's your choice on what you do but as for me, I'd be helping him pack.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:29 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I think he sounds like a awesome guy!
    and he sounds like he would make a great father and you are worrying for nothing and maybe it's you who needs to change you attitude about things around a little.
    good luck!keep us updated!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • My son's dad wouldn't tell his mommy, get a job, etc. So one day when I was at work I called his mom's (where he lived) and told her to watch the video that I left in the VCR in his room. It was an ultrasound tape. Then when they asked him why he didn't tell them he said "What? She's pregnant?" Then they asked me why I didn't tell him when I got off work. Ha, what an ass! he never got a job and I left him 5 1/2 years later since he got into drugs and had me supporting him.

    Talk to him, you won't be able to work after the baby comes for awhile. And what, does he want to stay home with the baby?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • his is m question..... I have known him for over 6 years, and knew what came with him when we got into this relationship. Yes, he knew what came with me too. But ever since I told him i was expecting, and we have had adult conversations on this subject as well as others...he always has to be right, or try to belittle me. His family doesnt like me b/c they think i stole him from them..really silly in my opinion; hes 36 years old and still uses excuses to go back home to CA and to verify his families actions. Im just tired of dealing with the negitivity and now he doesnt seem intrested in this soon to be child. any advice is appreciated...

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • im sure you did do something to his family to make them not like you.there is 2 sides to every story my dear..dont play innocent!
    im sure he doesnt want to tell them because maybe he was planning on being with you much longer!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • sorry i meant to say hes planning on NOT being with you for much longer then u have to go and get pregnant..sheesh

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Maybe he is afraid of what his mom is going to say about the pregnancy, I say give him a little more time and see what he does maybe it just hasn't hit him yet that he is going to be a daddy

    Answer by hautemama83 at 7:47 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

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