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What should i do?

Hello to everyone that is reading this.
I signed up because i find myself against a wall. I am 23, single, have a son and i live with my father. When I'm in school he takes care of my son as we have chosen to not place him in a daycare. I live in a house that my father supposedly bought for my son. Yet when I'm here i feel like I'm mistreated. I do not work because my dad will not allow me to while I'm in school. He wants that to be my priority. Yet now i feel like he does it so I'll be forced to stay at home and under his power. My son treats me as he wishes, pushes me off the sofa cause he doesn't want me there etc, if i am to even correct him my dad instantly yells at me and puts my authority down in front of my son. I tell him its not right what he's doing. I am on the verge of grabbing my things and leaving, yet i know my son adores and is used to my dad. Should i? Thank you for reading this and all advice is appreciated

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Asked by BehindmySmile at 8:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in About CafeMom

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Answers (7)
  • I think that you and your son should leave. It sounds like the only reason your son adores his grandfather is because he allows your son to act however he wishes. This negative male role in your son's life isn't good. I'm sorry that your Father treats you this way. Pray about it! I will too!

    Answer by 2kidsonly2arms at 8:42 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Something has to be done. this is not at all healthy for your son. While it is generous of your day to have a place for you to live, he cannot undermine you infron of your son. He is doing more harm than good. If he is disrespecting you as young as he is now (pushing you off furniture) and is taught (by your father) that this is acceptable behavior, imagine how bad it will/can get when he is older.

    Answer by onyourterms at 8:43 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • It is your life and I think you need to live it how you want to and work towards the life you want to live. If that means roughing and toughing it by working two jobs to help pay for daycare you need to do that. You are letting your son disrespect you by allowing your father to raise him. Its your son you need to be the power in your sons eyes. Save some money up without your father knowing and when you have enough to move out do so without letting your father know. Dont rely on other people you will forever fall flat on your face when you do that! I suggest finding some friends that you could move in with in the mean time?

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 8:50 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Uh yeah.. you need to move out Hon. It's not worth it to live this way. You have a son, you are responsible for his care... Pack yourself and your child up and move.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • While I agree that moving out would probably be the best solution, I realize that unless you have a friend or relative to stay with who is willing to take you in, you are up that well-known creek without a paddle! How will you pay rent? How will you provide for your son with no job? This will take some time to plan out. In the meantime, take Dad aside and see if you can talk to him Adult to Adult. If this is not possible, the discussion about him allowing your son to disrespect you might have to wait until you ARE out from under his roof. He IS correct about your education being a priority. He is NOT correct in his failure to allow you to discipline your own son.
    Just remember---when you live in someone else's house, whether friend or family, you live by THEIR rules. Also the quickest way to make an enemy out of a friend is to move in with them. Sorry to sound so negative,but mine is the voice of experience...

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 9:21 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • This does not sound healthy at all! It is not healthy for your son to be taught to treat you that way. What is going to happen when he is 15 and you are now living w/o Grandpa?
    It sounds like you working and your son going to a good daycare would be better for you and your son than this!!!!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 11:03 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I agree with the other posts, and would definitely leave.

    Answer by katanne22 at 11:15 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

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