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My 9 year old is always having accidents!

I don't know how to get her to stop so I came here for suggestions. It seems like my daughter just puts off going to the bathroom and instead waits until the last minute until she can no longer hold it and then pees all over herself (usually it's when she's playing). It pisses me off!! It seems like I tried every parenting/discipline program but can't think of a "reward" type program for going to the bathroom on time. Is this just a phase? It's been going on since she was potty trained! Any suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • Make sure there is not a medical condition responsible for this. If there is no medical condition I would try just not mentioning it anymore and let her take care of it herself. Don't make a big deal out of it. She may be doing it for attention. Kids that age don't usually wet themselves on purpose though, there is usually a reason.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 11:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Has her dr. been informed of this and does she have an actual condition? My nephew has this problem and he's 12. He had been in and out of dr.'s offices and was finally diagnosed with some urinary problem. His only happens at night. when he was 9 the dr. also discovered a tumor that was benign in his thigh which was causing some of the problem. I have no advice for you...i have a 4 1/2 yr. old who still poops his pants sometimes. So if you're like me, you've tried it all. GL

    Answer by liltymesmom at 11:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • First, make sure there are no medical problems.

    If there aren't - and be sure you take her in first - then get her a timer. Have her set it and go every 2 hours. Over time, she can make it longer.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:48 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • DONT GET PISSED OFF!!!! WTF is the matter with you??? She could have a medical condition or worse, some kids do that when they have been sexually abused. You getting pissed off at her will only make it worse. I know what she is going through, I had accidents up until i was 17-18 years old. Why?? Because apparently my bladder had stopped growing at the age of 8. Have patience. AND I REPEAT : DONT. GET. PISSED. OFF!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • take to not only a pediatrician but a urologist as well, (if you can)

    just have her clean up everything, clean floors that messed on and do the load of laundry with her clothes. (cleaning up after her own mess is just a fact of life- not a punishment. when we drop a jar of spaghetti sauce, we clean it up- not as a punishment- just was what we do)

    Does she do this when at friends' houses or at school?

    Answer by Kiter at 4:48 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Get her some pads to where to limit the mess

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 5:54 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Take her to the doctor and make sure there is no medical condition that needs to be fixed. It could be that she can't feel the urge to pee. Her bladder may not be fully developed, she could have an overactive bladder. Stop being pissed off at her, it will not help. Find out what is wrong and stop punishing her, she may not be able to help herself.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Different line of thinking here: Does your daughter have a BULLY problem? In my daughter's Elementary School, there was a girl bully that would attempt to beat the tar out of anyone younger than her while they were in the bathroom. It took the school staff awhile as the accidents happened school-wide to figure something was up. The girl was eventually caught and sent home for a few days punishment. It then took staff longer to retrain the girls that the bathroom was safe again.

    Answer by squeekers at 9:24 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

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