Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Sil cheating on brother

Ok so my sil cheated on mybrother and told him about it this is the second time and he told me about it and i dont know what to say. She said it wont happen again but she said it the last time. She also cut her wrist cause she cheated. What do i say to my brother? I know he's hurt and i dont like her he said three strikes shes out, i think he wanted me to tell him to kick her out but i couldnt cause i just want to support him i dont know what to do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Once a cheater always a cheater! Your brother deserves better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • tell him to treat himself better, have more respect for himself....it WILL happen again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • One time--ok--twice--he needs to get a clue and move on. The wrist slashing is a pity ploy. A person can make a really bad mistake and cheat once and get his/her life together and never do it again--but TWICE--please..... If you love your brother tell him the truth and to think with his head and not his heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • If she is cutting her wrists, she needs serious intervention. Tell him to have her admitted and be done with it.
    Rebecca7708

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 11:43 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • its important to know why she cheats. is it because of attention? Other desires? Some things can be fixed. Doing the same thing and expecting different results will not work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • She told him about it... he didn't catch her? If that's the case, maybe she really does feel bad that she did it. Has she ever been raped, molested? Is she bipolar? There's a lot of women that really do want to stop cheating, but when you've been abused sexually it's very hard.
    If I were him, I'd get her in some councelling, and get in some couples councelling if he wants to save the marriage. he shouldn't have told anyone in the family about it if he wanted to stay with her (sorry but it makes it hard for you to work it out if you know the family is against you staying together).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:48 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • if she is cutting her wrists it sound like there is more going on than meets the eyes. She needs to get healthy before she and you rbrother can have a healthy relationship. Though the cutting feels mor elike a control thing from my perspective its still not healthy and she needs help and he needs to make sure he doesnt allow her sickness to manipulate him. Tell him to tell her if she really wants to make it work she needs to get psychiatric help maybe even a brief inpatient hospitalization to get treatment jump started. There is more than just cheating going on here. Support your brother and help him to do what truly is BEST for his family not necessarily what feels best (which for me vengeance would FEEL best)
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 11:53 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • She was one of my best friends and i know she wasnt molested or raped. If its for attention i dont know what to say my brother treats her and their dd like gold she gets what she wants when she wants it including him calling off work. I was told cause bubby and i are that close she's does stuff like this before just never that far I mean she'd bounce from his friends to him and so on and would pass notes to guys in school a few years ago. I honestly wont treat her any different she and i have got into it a few time and always make up for the sake of the family but I'm not crazy about her and i dont want to see my niece hurt cause of it. The guy shes cheated with (both times) is not a person I'd want around my niece he's a huge druggie and theif. My brothers a good guy has a DAMN good job and lets her stay home with their ddi dont know i just dont want him hurt and he thinks he cant do any better cause he's a little big
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • She sounds either mentally unstable or she is just a drama Queen, either way you just need to tell him whatever he choses to do you will support him and love him unconditionally. He is probably confused, hurt so many emotions he doesn't need anyone to tell him to do anything but take the time to figure out what is best for him, and if they have children of course. HAD a friend that everytime she did something stupid (cheated on her man) she would try to either kill herself or play the poor lil me card, I just got sick of it she was spoiled brat that thought she should get away with whatever so needless to say we aren't friends anymore. You can't help him until he can process his life direction.
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 12:00 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I think you should stay out of it. Listen if he wants to talk but stay out of it
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:21 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN