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do you wish you were more careful?

i swear all my friends are getting pregnant like dominoes and i seriously think its because they are romanticizing babies. i love my son but i realize that i definitely did not have to have him at 20. they are adorable but i wish i was ready emotionally to handle a baby because really im a mess of a mother. i wish i was more careful and emotionally mature to handle a baby before i even thought of having sex. what about you? im not trying to bash because some 15 year old mothers are VERY mature and if i had a baby at 30 i probably still wouldnt have been emotionally ready, im just curious.


Asked by aliciatron at 1:05 AM on Mar. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • are admitting this. This is awesome! Had more moms been willing to know what? I am not ready for this and my child deserves better, then we would not have so many emotionally unstable families and broken homes in our society. I know that there are younger people that are more mature than older people but if you have the word TEEN in your age...then its not likely your mature enough to raise another life...not because youre a bad person, but because your a kid. Teenagers were never meant to have babies and raise them. They were supposed to be kids and have fun with life. I was a teen mom and YES YES YES, I was not ready. It was something that was just there and I had to deal with it. I made the best out of a bad situation and its worked out fine, but my daughter has had to pay a high price and it wasn't fair. I love that you see that you could have waited and love your honesty. Our kids deserve that.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:57 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Alicia, I think it is a sign of a good mother when you realize that it is a monumental responsibility and feel inadequate! It proves how much you care about doing right by your son.

    I do agree with you, however. I know at 20 I thought I was ready to be a mother, but now feel that I would NOT have coped well. I didn't become a mother until I was 31 and still often feel overwhelmed! Quite frankly, the mothers who worry me are the ones who seem to think they have it all together! I never want to be so secure in my own abilities that I quit turning to God guidance!


    Answer by Mishelly728 at 1:10 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • aw thank you :] i never thought about that!

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:11 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • No problem! I truly mean it!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 1:21 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • i'm a young mother, and am told i'm a great mother.. but ... ( I just had my second 4 days ago) and honestly.. it just dosn't feel right to me..
    could be my PPD comming back i hope not.. but .. i don't know what to think right now... i love them... but .. its hard

    Answer by Sunshine172 at 1:36 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • im sorry sunshine i too battled with PPD, i got on prozac so im better now but it was tough,

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:49 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I did not become a mom until 29, turned 30 and he was 3 months old. It was a big deal. Some women can have children at 18 and be the best mom . But everyone is different. It is a big task especially if you live on your own and your hubby works nights like I did. But now I have admiration for anyone that has a child .It can be overwhelming.

    Answer by jareda69 at 11:01 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • you're right momofsaee, im sad that my son will have to pay a price. im doing the best i know how to do and thats going to have to do for now :]

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:03 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I had my first at 19- I was not ready, but honestly my daughter was the reason behind me maturing. Had it not been for her I would never have realized how important education was, being responsible... cleaning a house... taking care of business. etc. I honestly don't know that I would ever have been ready- I needed to have one to make me "mommy" material..

    I of course still have a lot of learning to do, but I am pregnant with my third and this is the first time I really do feel ready for what's ahead of me. I'll be 26 in a few weeks.

    Answer by LuckyClown at 6:40 PM on Mar. 18, 2009