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I think I've lost my best friend

I've been friends with this girl for 10 years and we've always been close she was my best friend and I assumed I was hers. Over the last few months though ALOT has changed. 1st she started haging out with a 14 year old girl who has now become her "BFF" shes always breaking ours plans to hang out and she also just broke up with her boyfriend of 8 years. And now I'm hearing it was because of someone else that she has been seeing for the last 2 years and I thought she told me EVERYTHING but she never told me this and now she won't reply to any of my messages she won't return any of my phone calls and on the rare occasion I have talk to her she is just way to busy to talk she always says "let me call you right back" and its always around 2 to 3 weeks later before I hear from her again. I don't know! I don't remember doing anything to piss her off. Am stupid for being upset about this? What would you do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Her fur got ruffled from something. For what ever reason she just doesn't want a friendship right now with you. Try to let it go. She's hanging out with a fourteen year old? How old is she, you? If you're even 17yo that's stupid and it sure to hell is if you're she is older than 17. Write her name on a piece of paper and then tear up the paper and put it in the garbage. Don't answer her texts or calls, emails should she contact you. You're not stupid for being upset but you're bringing even more sorrow on yourself if you don't put her in the trash.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • yeah she is actually 23 as am I

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I just realized in re reading this how immature I sounded

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I would be crushed if my BFF wasn't my BFF. I honestly would confront her and strait out ask her what's up and why she keeps blowing you off! if she doesn't want to be friends anymore she needs to say so and if not then don't waste your time with her because she was never a real friend at all. I'm sorry to be so blunt but if my BFF did that to me that's exactly what i would do and she knows it. Anyways good luck and i hope you find friends that really care!

    Answer by jnsdrf at 9:24 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Well, thats very sad. I am so sorry. I can't imagine what a 23 yr old would have in common with a 14 yr old, but its likely that she will come back to you soon enough. My BFF and I don't live anywhere near one another. We have been friends for 13 yrs and we only see one another about 1 time every 2 or 3 months. Being best friends is about the relationship and not how much you talk or see one another. Just give her time. If you feel its not benefiting you, then move on. YOu need more mature friends.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:29 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You had a bond, and that bond has been broken, so it is natural that you'd feel very badly and that you'd do everything you could to get that relationship back. Your friend has moved on, and so must you, just in a different direction. I think that you have already realized this from what you wrote. I agree that I don't see what she could have in common with a 14 year old, so that is not what has broken you up, it must be unrelated, perhaps she is mentoring the child. Let it drop, don't try to contact her anymore- she isn't interested. It is time to move on with your life. Be friendly to others, take classes and do volunteer work, join a reading club or garden club or some other subject that interests you, and before you know it, you'll meet one or two other people with similar interests and you'll invite them for coffee or they'll say let's go shopping and there ya' go, you've made a friend.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:45 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • My best friend did the same thing, we have been friends for over 10 years and she is my daughter's God Mother, she hooked up with this guy on the internet and now she will not even return phone calls or emails. I have just learned t live with it and found a new friend!

    Answer by lapcounter at 10:43 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • She's probably too busy or she doesn't wanna be friends with you anymore. I know its hard but you're jus gonna have to let her go. Me and my bestfriends were bff's for 6 years until she let an ass hole come between us. It turned out for the better though and there are times when I miss her but then I remember I'm better off without her because if she was a true friend she wouldn't have dropped me for him. Wish yhou the best. PM me if you need someone to talk to.

    Answer by Native_Mommy253 at 12:44 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Sound like shes going through in early mid life crisis, she's changing everything around her, maybe you should just give her some space till she can come back to reality.

    Answer by NicholeAT at 12:45 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You're NOT stupid for being upset.

    But you can't let it consume you. Obviously, her heart is not in this friendship anymore. Sometimes people just grow apart.

    Awhile ago, my best friend in the universe blew me off. It just happened.... and I couldn't fathom why. For years I thought I had done something wrong. It drove me insane. Finally, almost 5 years after we'd "broken up" I wrote her a letter and just told her how I felt about it all. I missed her and I wanted to be friends again. But I needed to know why she didn't feel the same way about me. She wrote me and told me I had it all wrong. She had been going through a really difficult time and she just didn't feel prepared to discuss it with ANYONE-- especially me, because she knew I was going through a difficult time too (my mother had passed away). Anyway, after our 5-year hiatus, we had both grown up (and changed) a lot... now we're friends again

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 3:01 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

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