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Need help with DH, complete jackass...

Ok my DH and I are very unhappy, we admit it.We have a 4 month old daughter, he tells me that if I file for divorce that he'll take custody of her, I know how hard it is for someone to prove a mother unfit.Not so much worried about that.However, I am worried about moving out, I have a job but can't afford my own place plus daycare and groceries.
We just got married on Dec 11th 2008, he owns a townhouse and a home in Baltimore, by chance since there wasn't a prenup, do I also own 50%?He keeps telling me he's going to kick me out and I have nowhere to go. I need advice badly

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Did he own those before you were married? If so, you do not have rights to them in most states. The laws very greatly in each state but property or items owned before entering into the marriage almost always goes with the original owner.

    Answer by DDry at 9:57 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • hmmm tough one. did u sign a prenup? or did he get all this stuff while u were married. i would think u could get something. maybe the less xpensive place. and have it were he pays for daycare. that way its one thing u dont have to come up with. now im not positive but i wish u the best and sorry your unhappy, could u guys do counsiling? is there a chance to try? sorry just realized u put no prenup. im sick so im off today... u could also talk to a lawer and just see what they say. good luck mama. xo

    Answer by tabbys4 at 10:01 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • If i were you i would stay there for as long as i could and save up money untill i can get out SAVE SAVE SAVE..If you and him love eachother maybe you can try to work on things if not stick with it aslong as you can that way you have a place to go to when you leave and just incase he does take you to court there is no way you can be proved unfit

    Answer by BBKMommy at 10:02 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Your first consultation with a lawyer is usually free. I would contact one and ask them any questions you have. Men like to talk big to try and frighten you but that is usually all it is, talk.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Consult a lawyer. Also get a bank account in your own name and get money in there, in case it comes to needing to be on your own. He'd have to pay alimony. Find out from the lawyer what conditions would be needed for the child to be taken from you, although unless you are an alcoholic or on drugs or are abusive, etc, I can't imagine that happening, but you want to make sure he doesn't have something he can hold against you. Also be looking for cheaper places to live, and so forth. He doesn't need to know about any of this, by the way, it would make matters worse if he found out. So protect yourself financially and legally. If things work out then you won't need the information after all and no harm done, just your taking steps to be secure.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:06 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Sounds like you need a lawyer. It all depends (kicking you out part)if you both are on the lease/renting. Or if he owns the house/buying. Did he buy the house before you were married.

    Truthfully I think he is just trying to scare you with all the stuff he is saying. Why would he be say it all and you two just had a baby together??


    Answer by louise2 at 10:10 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You can make it. You may have to apply for housing assistance and foodstamps, but you can do it. and the state will also pay for child care.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Doubt you will get alimony you are not even married one year..
    You have no rights to what he owed before you met him. You sound like a gold I get 50%. If you are so unhappy get out and stand on your own.
    He can get sharred custody if he wants to and has a right to.

    Answer by Dannee at 10:17 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I have no own banking account and have been saving money, that's what brought all this on. He's pissed because I saved all this money and didn't tell him about it. But it wasn't his money. I need to get a lawyer because I can't take his "I'll kick you out" shit anymore, it's like I'm walking on eggshells.
    He did own this place and the other home before we were married. I don't want them, but if I can live in one and have the right to, I will.

    And no Dannee, I'm not a gold digger, I just wanted to make sure he can't kick me out of this place since we were married. Sorry if it came across like I was, but why leave if he can't kick me out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Whether or not he can kick you out depends on the state. Since he is technically the only owner of the home, he can probably "evict" you. Meaning he can tell you that you have 30 days to get out or else. It really depends on the state. Since you haven't been married long, you will get child support but you won't get spousal support (alimony). Even if you have a bank account without his name on it, he can get part of that money especially if he works and you don't. Technically, it's his money no matter what name is on the account. Again, that's most states so you really need a lawyer. At least take the free or cheap consultation and find out what you need to do and what your rights are.

    Answer by DDry at 10:36 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

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