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Is anyone friends with their partner's ex(s)?
My hubby is in contact with 4 of his ex's.
He sells property and has helped them with buying/renting.
Anyway, One of the ex's (I have never met) has invited us to a party she is having for her 5 yr old daughter on saturday. I really don't want to start a relationship with any of these women but hubby says "it's not that serious".. He say's I can finally meet her and her family?? but my question is why? for what??

I just don't feel comfortable about this... Am I wrong?
Do any of you mingling with ex's?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I'm sorry but out of respect he shouldn't expect you to go.... I would tell him how you feel or it's just going to get worse... GL

    Answer by 4x4mum at 10:50 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I wouldn't go. I have mingled with one of my ex's in the last year and it was uncomfortable, but it was at a memorial service for his great grandmother. I felt that I had to go since I have known the family for more than 15 years. If you are uncomfortable with the situation then don't go and don't take your child, but let your SO know so that he won't be upset over it.

    Answer by coala at 10:54 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You are not wrong..IMO..I wouldn't go..And I would tell him a thing or two .

    Answer by louise2 at 10:56 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I have an ex who i was and still am friends with his ex wife they actually still lived together when I met him I was never worried because I knew she HATED him and now I know why lol
    but I have met a couple ex's of my SO now but never formed any kind of relationship with them...

    Answer by lalasmom8 at 10:57 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • sorry no your not wrong you shouldn't go if your not comfortable with it.

    Answer by lalasmom8 at 10:59 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • when I first started dating my SO he invited me to our favorite bar. once in the car he told me his ex was gonna be there. I wasnt too thrilled but kept that to myself. Once she showed up she was kinda nice, even bought us beers. but what got to me was SO left us at the bar together while he mingled with his friends. It was extremely awkward and I ignored her most of the time (I was really tipsy and in my own word anyways lol). She cheated on her husband with my SO (neither knew at the time) a few years ago and she has huge fake boobs and dresses like she should be in a Poison video. So I was intimidated by her "come and get me" appearance at first. But we are on good terms now. in fact she gave us stuff for the baby. we saw her recently at a store and she looked down the whole time as if saying "yep, it's official, he's taken and has a baby". MWAHAHAHAAAAA

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 11:12 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Lol, Owl Feather!

    Last summer when DH and I moved to OKC, he got a phone call from a lady on a Friday night, wanting to know if we wanted to go garage-saling with her and her husband the next day. I agreed, yeah, it'd be fun... I thought it was someone he knew from the church because she had called him constantly since I'd known him.

    We got up a 7am the next morning and went garage-saling. We had fun! Then, it was time for lunch. We stopped at Mazzio's, and were sitting at a table for 6.... though there were only 4 of us. In walks a super-skinny, super-model face girl and she hugs, then sits next to the lady from the phone... she proceeds to ignore me and talk to DH until DH introduces us. "Babe, this is Laurie, Laurie, this is Bayly."

    My heart sank. We had had a blast with his XGF's parents. Granted DH and I had several playful conversations about why we left X's, about their weird antics, etc... but nonetheless

    Answer by matobe at 11:34 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • it was super uncomfortable!

    If I'd have known in the first place, I wouldn't have gone. I did have fun, but it's not something I'd appreciate doing again. I know that the mom, Donette, sent Chris care packages and stuff while in college... but he and their DD dated while he was a sophomore in HS... so I didn't quite understand, now that I KNEW who she REALLY was.

    And NO, i didn't make friends with her, the whole rest of the afternoon I clung to DH and didn't talk to Laurie... too weird.

    Don't go if you expect it to be uncomfortable... or make sure your DH knows your signal for "Let's go, NOW." if you do go and start feeling weird.

    Answer by matobe at 11:37 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I have met and are friends with some of my dh's ex's and he's met and is friends with some of my ex's too. I've never understood the objection to being friends with ex's. If you part on good terms and remain friends why remove that person from your life? When things are truly over then friend or not, it's over and therefore not a threat to the current SO. I don't restrict my dh from having female friends so I don't see the ex's as any different than any of those.

    Going to a party isn't starting a relationship with any of your dh's ex's. It's just attending a party for her child as a family friend and spouse. Perhaps your dh is trying to assure you that there is nothing there between them anymore. If you meet her you can judge her character for yourself.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:39 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • ABSOLUTELY NOT unless they have kids together.

    Answer by mirandar2001 at 11:51 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

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