Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Names for the birthfamily????

What do you call the woman who gave birth to your child?
I have heard birthmom, birthfather,
and I have heard firstmom on here.
I personally do not like firstmom...it leaves room open for oneday the child to say secondmom..And no I am not insecure...
I am my daughters mother.
Just wondering what do you call them and what
do your children call them?

 
Dannee

Asked by Dannee at 10:49 AM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Adoption

Level 12 (784 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (36)
  • I hope you don't mind my answering because I am the woman who gave birth to my child. I like to be referred to as his birth mother. I also use the terms birth father and birth family because while they didn't give birth to him, they were his family at his birth, before his adoption. Some people suggest that by accepting birth mother I have to accept that my role is limited to his birth. I reject this. Like someone else noted giving birth is beautiful and not a trifling thing, in fact it's huge! I do not like first mom because no-one wants to be second mom. I think that while it's technically true, it's disrespectful to the person the adoptee calls mom. I dislike natural mom for the same reason.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I have a friend who had her DD adopted by a close family friend and when she comes to visit she calls her BM Aunt, and yes she knows that she is adopted.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:51 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I dont hav eadoptive children but if i were in ur situation and there owuld be a chance where the child will one day meet their mother i would make sure to let them know that YOU ARE MAMA and that is the woman who gave birth to you so i guess birth mother
    BBKMommy

    Answer by BBKMommy at 10:55 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Biological mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I am my daughter's mother.
    Someone else just happens to be her Mom.
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 12:17 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You read me incorrectly I am her mother and her mom..
    what she choices to call her birthmother is what she chooses..
    I have an open adoption..we all talk etc..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • We taught one one child "tummy mommy" and for the other child it is "Mommy-first name" (at the request of the bmom). In normal discussions, I use the term bmom.
    2ndtimewish

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 1:02 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • BIRTH; emergence of a baby or young from ITS MOTHERS body; beginning origins; give birth to; produce; be the originator. MOTHER; female parent,that which therefore gives rise to something else; give birth to; be the mother or origin of; NATURAL,existing in or caused by nature, uncultivated, not artificial in content; in course of nature, not suprising; to be expected; not disguised or altered; I have many times been blessed enohg to ponder this question. In simplicity, this is my thoughts. We as adults put too MUCH emphasis on Labels, and cause confussion unnecessarily for "our "children. In reality it is very simple. You are blessed to have a child, raise that child with all the love, guidance and support to bring up a well grounded , respectful, thriving adult. When this is don correctly, this child will know in its heart, whom Mom & Dad are..no if-ands-or buts! ...cont...
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:24 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • However to teach that child it has a BIRTHMOTHER, is in return teaching that child, it is therefore an ADOPTEE. Do you wish to let others be known, that your child be introduced as "my adopted child"? Of course not, it is again an label "we" place on 'our' children. 'YOUR'-"OUR" children are just that ..our child. That child has a First/Natural/Birth Mother, always will have. Does this mean you should feel inferior, or insecure...most certainly not. You are a mother, whom was blessed to raise your child, that child has a firstmother, and this is fact. What the child CHOOSES to LABEL his/her first mother, is entirely up to the child. Insecurity breeds jealousy, inferior complexes, and gives merit to OWNERSHIP! We should never treat our child as an object of ownership. GOD loans us a child, to become the BETTER part of 'us", by doing so we accomplish our goals...being MOM&DAD! ...cont..
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Alot of children have "Step-Dads' & "Step-Moms', but rarely are they introduced as such. If we do our duty...raining a productive adult, then we are rewarded with Mom and Dad...plain and simple. Our children should be raised with a free spirit, in choosing what they wish to call others. Labels just muddy the water, and cause a stigma to attach. As a Mom, I tried and believe i succeeded, to teach my son to not be a leader, not be a follower, but to be free to be himself. He too dispises LABELS. If he did not wish to call me MOM, I would respect his wishes. He never introduces me to "GAY' friends, and he never introduces me to 'hetrosexual ' friend...they are just his friends. I feel it is rather cold to brain wash a childs mind because of MY insecurity, to allow him to know he is an ADOPTEE, who has a BIRTHMOM, and I am his ADOPTIVE MOM! WOW, that is so ugly to even type! My thoughts, Blessings..C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:43 PM on Mar. 18, 2009