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How do I get thru to her?

My daughter is an adult and has children, but it still seem she is making all the wrong decisions in her life. She has bad friends and gets caught up in their drama. But, I can't get her to listen to me. I want to make her understand she has to make choices for her kids and herself... How do I do it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Like I always say,,"you can't tell grown folk what to do" Like i told my DD. I can tell you how i feel about things. But it is up to you to make the choice.. Step back and just know she is grown and weather you like it or not she will do what she want to do. Good or bad.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:44 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • you can preach and preach, but she probably won;t listen and will have to learn from her own mistakes. It stinks but it is true!
    onyourterms

    Answer by onyourterms at 11:36 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I am 22 (almost 23) and let me tell you....you can't.

    It is a conclusion she will have to come to all on her own, and the only thing you can do is be there to guide her and make sure her children are safe.

    Hopefully this doesn't happen to your daughter, but it seems to me that in my old circle of friends, a few of the mothers were like your daughter. And it took extreme circumstances, such as CPS being called, or their drama ridden friends bringing the cops to their houses (for things that the friends did, not the moms) that made these girls snap out of it and go "oh shit, this is terrible for my babies!"
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 11:37 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • YOU DON'T. ITIS HER LIFE AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE HER WAY REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU AGREE OR NOT. ALL WE CAN DO AS PARENTS OF ADULT CHILDREN, IS GIVE SUGGESTIONS AND HOPE THEY FOLLOW THROUGH, BUT IF THEY DON'T, ALL WE CAN DO IS STAY CLOSE AND WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND HELP PICK UP THE PIECES WHEN NEEDED.

    NOBODY LEARNS FROM OTHERS MISTAKES, IF WE ARE SMART ENOUGH WE LEARN FROM OUR OWN. DON'T INTERFERE BECAUSE YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:37 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You cant make her do it. My dd is 20 with 2 kids and sometimes I dont always agree with her choices too. All you can do is continue telling her in a positive manner why the things shes doing might be bad choices and then let her learn from her own mistakes. Shes an adult and at this point all you can do is hope she uses the common sense and morals you taught her, but theres no way to force that.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:38 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

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