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How should I discipline my almost three year old? NOTHING WORKS

We've tried it all. Spanking, time out, corner, ignoring it, talking it through, yelling, EVERYTHING that we can think of. We are going to be moving soon, and I don't want things out of control in the new place. He's not listening to a word my fiancee or I say, he's touching things he's not supposed to touch(video games, computer, knives from the drawers,) climbing on counters, opening and getting things from the fridge, then not closing it, spilling things on the floor purposely, peeing in his pants, even though he's well potty trained since October last year. I'm not sure what to do anymore and WE NEED HELP!!!

 
mommykayti

Asked by mommykayti at 2:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I am right there in the boat with you...

    As a way to make "focusing on the positive" more concrete for your little one, I would suggest starting a behavior sticker chart. This has helped a LOT with our little hellion...we have his simple set of "rules" and a sticker chart on the pantry door. Every day during breakfast, we read over the rules. He likes to count them off ("One! Two!" "Three!") while we recite them, and it helps him to be mindful of his rules from the beginning of the day. Whenever he breaks a rule, I remove him from the situation and bring him to the rule chart, where we read the rule he broke, and then I remind him that he won't get a sticker at the end of the day if he continues to break rules.

    Every time he fills up two rows of stickers, we go on a special outing just for him...if your son has some favorite outings or activities, try to get him to focus on working towards a goal with his good behavior.
    nuclear_sugar

    Answer by nuclear_sugar at 3:18 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • We had the same issues!!! What finally worked- we stopped focusing on the bad stuff and started focusing on the good. It was HARD to not get upset everytime he did something bad. But unless he hurt himself or others we just ignored it or redirected. We had to MOVE knives, put away the video games ect. It was hard. It took about 3 days - all we did was when he did ANYTHING that was nice or good- we made a big deal of it and gave him a sticker to put on his good boy chart. Even if he only put a toy away or did something that was obvious. Once he got a certain amt of stickers we had a movie night. (we also turned off the tv during this time) We made sure he was safe, and focused on the good. Now he isn't trying to get attention for the bad. He still has bad days- every kid does, but his behavior is a HUGE improvement- it just took a LOT from us.
    jessicasea

    Answer by jessicasea at 2:39 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • jessicasea has given you the very best advice and insight....definitely follow it. It may take longer for you, but KEEP AT IT. It may seem like it's not working, but KEEP AT IT. It may seem like it's a useless, energy sucking activity, but KEEP AT IT. Long term consistency is the key.

    If you DO try it long term and are consistent & it still doesn't work - try to talk to your pediatrician about it. These are attention getting activities that might have to do with your fiance or complications stemming from having a biological father not being around anymore. Or him losing your full attention to a future step father.
    TLALONDE16

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 2:44 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • PP's are soooo right! Focus on the positive. Consistance is KEY! Also try, for lack of better words, shocking him with your change in attitude. Instead of not yelling, whisper. or using a calm voice when he is actually doing something dangerous like touching knives. When my dd wanted to touch knives when she was about the same age I told her I see you want to cut something, what do you want to cut... if she told me something that would actually use a knife I would tell her ok why don't we use this knife instead and gave her a butter knife, that way she is still doing what she wanted to do without actually using a sharp knife. Stay calm and focus on the postitive. Good Luck!
    MNMom247365

    Answer by MNMom247365 at 2:53 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

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