Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He wants a 2nd job.

I feel so bad right now! We are in a bit of debt ($1k cc, 10k car, 4k DD hosp bill) and dh just called & said he is thinking about getting another job, right now he works 5am-1pm & want to take on a 2/3pm-9pm job. Im a SAHM & I feel so guilty. Hes wanting my advice, but i dont know what to say. We can pay off our debts with what he is making now it will just be a slow process & wont have extra money.
Part of me wants to say no, ill get a job! But Im dealing with some anxiety issues that keep me from wanting a job & I dont think dh could handle dd, or would handle her good by himself, so me getting a job doesnt seem like its the answer. We have tried to look for WAH jobs for me, but most are scams.
Im so lost! :(

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Let him have the job and see how it goes. If he can stay happy and healthy and get some of the stress off of him by paying off bills and putting money into savings, then that is great. If he suffers from the extra job, then it is time for you to find one to bring more money in. a part time job, maybe, during hours that he is home.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:36 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Well, I think your husband should be able to handle your daughter on his own. When's he gonna learn? He is her father after all and should be able to do that. And yeah, you should get a job. Coordinate your scheduales to where one of you is always with your daughter.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 3:24 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I wouldn't blame you because my daughter grandpa (dads side) also has anxiety problems and can't work. So he just stays at home all day with the kids twins that are 3 and a 2 year old. I can tell how stressed he gets when I visit. His wife works while he stays at home. good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • If he is already working to provide for the family and it still isn't working, it's time for you to find something to do also. It doesn't have to be full-time. You can try part-time. But if you are having money problems, do your part and get a job. That's just my opinion. He is already under enough stress from trying to be the only financial support for his family. If the only time he is off is from 9pm-5am, he won't get enough sleep and won't be able to see his family. To me, that's not a fair thing to ask of a person.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • He doesnt know how to take care of your daughter cause he hasnt had to!! get a job and it'll give him and her time he needs and thats how he will learn!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 7:48 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • thanks for the opinions ladies. last night i was thinking & you know what-- if he wants a job, he can get one! one reason we have issues with money is him! no matter how much i budget & try to cut out expenses, he still spends more than we should... If he didnt spend money all the time we would have had plenty in savings to cover our ass when dd went into the hospital.. or even if he would cut his spending now we would be fine. but he thinks nothing of buying a new video game every other week. and having a lunch that cost $10 doesnt bother him at all!
    About him & DD--he is a good dad. He loves her lots. but he DOESNT do well caring for her alone. our gameroom-has a few unwanted art project because he was playing the xbox while he had her.. hes never changed a poo diaper..he also isnt great with discipline- he takes the easiest road- yesterday he said if she didnt act better santa wasnt coming! wth?!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Mar. 19, 2009