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Help!!!! I'm such a paranoid mom... I don't know how to stop being so parnoid and I don't want it to effect my 20 month old. I constantly follow her when we are out door so she does not fall, Im always afraid she is going to get hurt! And I dont know how to let go I'm soooo scared... Any advice would be great!

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TaylorBuz

Asked by TaylorBuz at 4:16 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • The only advice I can give you is to let go, lol.

    Toddlers are going to fall...its how they find their balance on their own. Its a part of how they learn. And so long as you don't make a big deal every time they fall ("ooh, pooooor baby, are you OK?") then they won't either. My daughter is 10 months old, and only cries when she is actually hurt, and she falls all the time. Its a part of her learning to walk. After that, its going to be a part of her learning to run, as well as learning to walk over things with texture (i.e. the back yard)
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 4:23 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You are going to give yourself a heart attack!

    My firm belief is that you SHOULD be paranoid.........to a point. It's the non-paranoid parents who say, "I dunno what happened. I only turned my head for a second." and meanwhile, their kid is laying face first in the pool or whatever....

    It's okay for the baby to fall. It is okay for him/her to experience heart break and hard times...it's part of growing and maturing and getting physically and mentally stronger. The HUGEST mistake great parents make is sheltering their kids too much. Try not to do it, otherwise you'll have a 35 year old living with you along with his kids and wife..and you will be taking care of the kids and cleaning up after them and cooking for them....

    I know you may not see the connection from your paranoia with your baby and the 35 year old...but keep it up and you WILL!!! :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Kids need to fall down and know they will be okay. And they do! She will only develop confidence that she is okay without you by being allowed to fall, get a booboo once in awhile, and still be okay! Think of it this way: booboos heal, her confidence will not if you continue this. Keep it in perspective...you won't let her loose in traffic, climb a ladder, touch a hot stove, hold a knife, or endanger her. You WILL let her walk three steps ahead of you in the park, run with other kids, and fall on her bum once in awhile. Didn't YOU learn that way??? Relax. She will be fine!
    grandmalinda707

    Answer by grandmalinda707 at 4:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • The best thing to do is NOT react when your child falls unless they do. They will fall, look to you for cues as to how to handle it. If you freak out, rush over, pick them up, coddle them, etc they will start to cry and eventually it will be an attention seeking thing. Our son is a kamakaze (sp?) and would fall all the time. My DH was a bit more like you...tending to worry, etc. I had to teach him not to react and our son was just fine. He falls ALL the time and it isn't an issue. Now we know if he is crying then he actually hurt himself.

    You can do it. Take care of the things you can control (gates on stairs, cords away, etc) then let her go. She can't learn if you don't let her and then where will she be?
    2cubs

    Answer by 2cubs at 5:38 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Lol. Sorry to laugh. But you remind me of myself. Just today we had dd out playing in the beautiful weather. We took her to the park. Well half of the park is woodchips (wich i hate due to splinters) and the other half is black top. Well at first I did everything in my power to keep her from going onto the blacktop, but then she saw some other toddlers (little older than her, she is 15 months), rolling a ball on there, and she wanted to play with them. So I let her go. And you know what, she fell down, scraped her knee, came to me, got a bandaid, and then went right back to what she was doing. No crying, we both stayed calm. And she was fine....

    Its so scary! I know!
    tiffers32788

    Answer by tiffers32788 at 5:46 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I empathize with you...sounds like you are paranoid of being paranoid. What everyone else is saying is true. It's not bad that you show compassion toward your child if they really are hurt. But like the old saying goes, "choose your battles". If you are always babying her she will always be at your ankles and not learn how to handle different situations. Think of it as preventative maintenance. When she falls take a quick second and analyze the situation's severity. Tripping over her feet isn't a huge deal, but rolling off a couch could be though. Good luck!
    aidengrant07

    Answer by aidengrant07 at 12:31 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

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