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what would you do?

i've been dating this man for the past 9 months and it just got serious. his wife passed away 3 years ago and he has a 7 y/o daughter and 5 y/o son, i have a 4 y/o son myself but thats irrelevant, he wants me to meet his children and his parents but i think it's too soon for all of them. she was very sick for a long time so he had time to adjust but i'm afraid his children will think im trying to replace their mother which i would never

what would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • It is great that you are thinking about the family, because it does sound like a hard situation. If you dont feel like it is time to meet them, then tell him politely, but you want to be comfortable with the experience too. If he is totally ready for you to meet them all, and you want to, i would say go for it. Get to know them all as friends, maybe try not to be all lovey and clingy,that might be hard for the kids at first, especially if they were used to seeing their mom who passed doing that. But i would say to maybe get to know them in a friendly environment and in a friendly way. I hope i make sense it makes total sense in my head, lol.
    ministrymom

    Answer by ministrymom at 10:46 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • also hes 13 years older than i am which might seem bad but we really mesh well together
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You are gracious to be so concerned about his family. Three years is not too short a time to my mind. If you love him, meet his family. Best of luck to you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:19 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • thank you bmat, he said if im more comfortable with it he would introduce me as his 'friend' for a long time and that makes me feel better.

    hes a great man and i think hes my soul mate i just want to do things right by his family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • i think he knows when its right and if he thinks its right then i would go for it.


    you can make a million excuses not to take that first step
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 8:24 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I don't see the harm in meeting them. I would just be careful to do a lot of watching and listening to see what kind of vibes I could pick up from them. You might be very surprised. It could be that they are sensing the need to be "mothered" again. If you feel insecure about meeting them, you should be honest about your feelings, but I really don't think it will do any detriment.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:24 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • You sound very nice to be concerned for his children. IMO I think you showing such great devotion to the families welfare says it is time to meet the family. Just tell him your worries, it will be alright.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 8:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • It's good you're thinking about what his family will think but you cant wait forever to meet them...i would probably give it a few more monthes but dont wait too long
    Love_My_Lil_One

    Answer by Love_My_Lil_One at 9:06 PM on Mar. 18, 2009