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Should she have to pay child support?

My fiancee and I are raising our kids together, I have shared custody, and he just got primary custody of his daughter. His daughters mother has a new 7 month old baby and doesnt work. She leeches onto men and uses food stamps etc to get by. She rarely (maybe once every 3 months) tries to arrange visitation. She doesnt pay for anything, we pay all food, clothing, medical, schooling, etc expences. My fiancee says he "feels bad for her" because she has a new baby and no money, and he does not want to persue child support because she will not pay it and will eventually be jailed. The reason she has no money is that she refuses to get a job. I feel that we both have to work to support our kids, why shouldnt she! He gets very angry with me over this issue, and it is causing major turmoil in our relationship. My question is: Am I just bitter that I have to work? Should she be required to pay child support?


Asked by Katrina77 at 8:29 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (17)
  • "Of course she should. Would anyone sympathize with a dad who had children with another wife and whose wife couldn't work because she just had a new baby and one income wasn't enough to ALSO pay child support. No they wouldn't. The non-custodial parent should always pay child support."

    Took the words right out of my mouth. I know the courts threaten jail if CS is not paid, but (at least where i'm from) they usually prefer to jail people on something more than just failure to comply. You know the saying "You can't get blood out of a turnip"? Go ahead and file. It'll all just add up as back CS and when she finally does get a job, they'll garnish her wages. She's obviously supporting this new child, somehow, and her parental obligations don't stop for your SD just because she no longer has primary custody. She's a parent and should act accordingly.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 12:13 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • She should have to pay it, but how about filing after she gets a job?or would she just never get one?

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • The last job she held was three years ago as a stripper. She says she wants to stay at home with her child, and that is why she "cant" work. I wish I could stay at home with my child too, but Im working to support my chilld, and hers too! Not to mention my tax dollars, and yours are supporting her wish to stay home.......

    Answer by Katrina77 at 8:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • she needs to pay.

    Answer by jbirchard at 8:39 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • YOu can file but you're not going to get squat. You'll be awarded maybe $25 a month because she doesn't work

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Any ABSENT parent should pay child support. It was very easy for her to have another child so she has something coming out of those pockets. I suggest he get down to the Child Support people and get that Child Support going.

    Answer by mommatime78 at 9:16 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • When my BIL went to court about child support the judge gave an unrealistic amount for him to pay. When he told the judge that the amount he had set was more than he made in a month the judge told him he better find a second job. She may not have to pay but $25 month but if she was a he it would be a whole lot more.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Here in Colorado, they base child support off of income of both parents. If your fiance makes bank, and she doesn't work, she wouldn't pay anyway. They consider additional children and will only consider legal spouses. So if she is remarried and they include her youngest child, they may include her husband's income in the calculations. Any children your fiance has custody of would be consider, but your income would not be. That is how they do it in Colorado. She should have to pay, however, since she doesn't work, most likely won't. Either way, he should still file because her child is still her responsibility.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • She should pay and I feel where you are coming from. My ex disappeared and did not pay a thin dime in support. My new DH paid for everything and raised my kids with me all while paying support for his DD. However as unfair as it is...and you are entitled to your feelings, what good is it going to do to persue this? It is causing conflict in your relationship and maybe if you are honest a tiny part of you wants to bust her balls because you feel she is not a good mom. I would let this go if he wants you too, it really is between the two of them. Like he says what good is it if she is in jail. I could have three felony counts against my ex...but what for..if he is in jail or a felon he is not making money right?

    Answer by salexander at 10:38 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • He should file for child support even if it comes out that she can't pay. when her job situation changes, he should refile.

    however, this is something that your DH has to do. and if he does not want to do it, you can not make him and it won't do any good for your relationship. i understand your feelings. i wish that we could file for official physical custody (we have joint custody, but she has the physical custody according to their original divorce decree - but we have them 8 out of 14 days and we use to have them more than that). and with that i wish we could file for child support as well.

    i wouldnt try to make a huge thing out of it with him because he doesn't sound like he is going to budge right now. i would try to support him and when it comes up, maybe mention it, but not as a huge thing.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:08 PM on Mar. 18, 2009