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Need advice, please help...

I don't know if it is just me but my gut is really telling me differently. My husband of 10 years works in an all woman environment. It really didn't bother me at first till one of the women started calling him uncontrollably. I spoke with him about this and he became crazy. Well, as it turns out, I was right, she was stalking him. But that is not my problem. He has befriended another coworker who is also married and they talk everyday on the phone and hang out at work. On certain occassions they also go out to breakfast together. It has even gone as far as sending get well emails when they are ill.

Am I crazy for thinking this is not normal? He does not call me while he is at work and if I call, he gets bothered and hangs up quickly. He has never cheated on me but everytime I bring this subject up he takes her side and becomes a raving lunatic. Should I let her husband know, approach her myself or leave it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • He may have just found a close friend. I wouldnt worry too much right away. Try getting to know her. Try doing a double date with her your dh her and her dh. See how they interact. maybe if youre all in the same environment it will make you feel more comfortable.

    Answer by Amanduhpanda at 9:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • My opinion is a hubby is only friends with one girl and thats you and vise versa. Its too easy to get caught up in false feelings and ruin relationships. I think you should sit down and let your hubby know that you want to know to help you guys out. Maybe he isnt gettin something he needs. My hubby and I have that agreement if we even think about cheating we talk about it cause it can be fixed. I dont think you should talk to her hubby just yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I think you should have a heart to heart with your husband, and let him know your worries...tell him exactly what you just said here. i would worry if it were my husband. I'd bet if the situation were reversed, your husband would be worried too. You aren't by any means being unreasonable. I don't think you should say anything to the woman's husband. My guess is if they are spending that much time together, whether on the phone, eating breakfast or at work, he has his own suspicions too.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 9:42 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I have approached him and tried to reason with him. He is not a reasonable man at all. He gets upset and storms away yelling that I am stating that he is cheating. I have tried to talk to him on many occassions and he says she is just a friend. It is affecting our relationship. He doesn't want to talk about work at all. We don't talk anymore aside from the bills and our daughters.

    He talks more to this friend than he does his own wife. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • it definately sound like there are problems here aside from his friendships at work. would you be able to get him to counseling??

    the whole things seems odd to me.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:43 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • This is not normal. You tried to tell him and he doesnt care what does that tell you? Now I would tell her to step off my man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Hun id tell him how you feel... it does seem like there very well could be something going on and i dont blam you for being worried about it... but it could also be just a friendship... definatly sit down with him and let him know how you feel

    Answer by Love_My_Lil_One at 11:04 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • im sorry but...its an me.its either full blown or its leading there,first opportunity they have to be alone will result in sex.believe me,i know.i could write the script of how it started and where its going to end,nip it in the butt now!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • It does sound like an emotional affair. You need to tell him if he loves you, you all need to seek an outside counselor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Thank you to everyone that offered their help. It seems that after so many years, he decided to call it quits. Hey, I guess I'm certainly not the first or the last to go thru a divorce in this day and age. Thanks again to everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Apr. 4, 2009

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