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My son wants to feel how it is to be dead???!!! Advise please!!!

OK, let me start of with what happened first. He was very tired and cranky tonight. He threw something at me and my husband told him that what he did was wrong and he is not to hurt his mother under any circumstances etc etc. So he started a crying fit because he was so tired.He calmed down, and he said this "Mom, I'm want to find out how it feels to die" I said, don't say that, that isn't a nice thing to say or think. I told him that if he dies he can't come back to his family. He paused, thought about it, and said, well, I still want to feel how it feels. I don't want to leave the family but I want to die to see how it is. So needless to say I started crying hysterically and I told him to never think or say that again, and I love him very much, and I never want him to die. So we ended it with him saying sorry to me for saying it, but I am really scared about this. What should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I think your child was just curious. Has he ever lost a pet? Kids learn a lot in school and maybe the subject came up with his friends. I would'nt let it bother you too much because you will be losing way to much deserved sleep over something that will probabley pass. maybe get a few books on children losing pets or a family member dying. I did that with my 6 and 8 yr old when we lost our dog and then my dad. It really helps.

    Answer by Carry313 at 12:19 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Wow, not trying to be mean, but you WAY over reacted to that! I think what he said is just very normal curiosity. It doesn't mean he has a death wish or anything. I can just about guarantee one thing, though. He WILL do it again because he got such a huge reaction out of his mother. That is power to a kid.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I don't know about you, but if your child tells you they want to die, I don't think you would take it lightly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • As a matter of fact, my child has told me that. You need to realize death is a part of life. It seems your child has! Your son was just saying something that he was curious about and you went nuts on him. You will make him scared to death of, well, death! I have a terrible new flash for you, EVERYONE EVENTUALLY DIES! Your reaction is going to make death harder for him to deal with when someone he loves passes away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • When my children ask me odd questions I normally pick their brain. I'll ask them "why do you ask" or "what made you think of that" or "Where did you hear that"?? Instead of taking it personally you need to find out what is going through his mind, that is the real issue. Him apologizing and not saying that again only stifles what is going on in his heart and you sure don't want him to be afraid to talk to you about anything. He may have just been upset by the events of the evening and wanted an escape instead of learning to deal with real life issues, or he may be a little manipulator who was trying to get your attention by "shocking" you into feeling sorry for him. Whatever the case is, your job is to keep the communication flowing and make sure that he feels confortable talking to you about the most personal and even embarassing issues in his life. This will gain his love, respect and friendship for a lifetime:-)

    Answer by lilhoney at 11:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2009