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MARRIAGE EMERGENCY PART3 AND FINAL!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!

he makes me feel like no man has ever made me feel. but at the same time, i know i am such an incredibly horrible person for doing this. I love my husband. but i love him ......more. i dont know what to do. i dont want to stop talking to him, and my marriage is pretty much destroyed anyway. i mean, he always gets his way about everything, and if he doesnt, he throws a big grownup scary, angry fit until he does. and when we fight, he blames it on me. but i dont want my kids to not have a dad, and i dont want to be selfish. I guess i just need to come to terms with the fact that i'll never be happy. I have never loved someone as much as i love him.....yet hes not the one i'm supposed to love this much. what do i do? someone please help.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • It's easy for someone to make you feel great when you don't have to live with them 24 hrs. a day! You may walk away from your marriage, and your kids' father, for some guy that when reality sets in, is no better than what you have now. Get over yourself, talk to your husband, and start working things out!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Your marriage could be failing because you are not putting 100% into it because your head is somewhere else. I wouldn't talk to the man you have NEVER met for at least 6 months to a year, and give your marriage a REAL try. If the man you have never met respects you, he will understand. AND IMO, he doesn't respect you because he is creating drama in your life. If he REALLY loved you, he would totally back off and let you have your relationship with your family. A good man would let you go figure it out without outside influences.
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 10:44 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • you rockThis is for KaceesMom! 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Okay after reading all of your posts, I can tell you that both of the above posters are right, and I agree with them, I only have to add that I feel you are simply building this guy up in your head, which is normal when we are unhappy with our current life situations, if you love your husband then you need to just stop talking to this guy (not to mention what he is doing to his wife is wrong also), stop talking to him and seek out some sort of marriage counsiling for yourself and your husband, and see where things go from there. And to be honest you are only hearing one side of the story from this other guy about why his marriage sucks and what not you dont know the full story, and by that I mean he may not be the guy you think he is and he may be the reason why his marriage sucks not his wife. Also remember that when you are around someone ALL the time things will be different between the two of you ---cont
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 11:13 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • its about sharing life's stresses and responsibilities and thats a big commitment, were you young when you got married....yes.....but that doesn;t mean you should use that as an excuse, you still made that commitment not only to your husband but to yourself and God also. Anyhow like I said before stop talking to this guy NOW before it goes too far, and start looking for counseling and try to look at all the happy positive things in your marriage instead of all the negative GL

    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 11:16 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • I agree with anon 10:37, everything seems wonderful when you don't have the stresses of reality nipping at your heels! But if you were to move in together it would start! He doesn't put the seat down, he forgot to take out the trash or he leaves his dirty clothes in a trail to the bathroom! And then to bring in the stresses with children! It won't seem so fairytale like. I'd deal with your current relationship first before moving on to anything else. If it's meant to be, he'll still be there when it's all over.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:47 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Counseling for yourself and for you and your husband would be a good idea to do right now before you have even made a decision as to what to do. I understand where you are coming from but I do agree with the things others have said. If you love your husband and he loves you, then you should stay together and try to work it out first.
    AmandaI1021

    Answer by AmandaI1021 at 11:50 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Look!! When there is trouble on the home front it is easy to think the grass is greener else where. When you start thinking along those lines you are not committing yourself to your marriage or children. You have to look inward right now and see what you can really bring to this marriage. Yes you said your husband is Bi Polar but you took vows to take care of him...sickness and health. Focus on your relationship with your husband. Don't fall for the other guys sob story. Sure the attention from the other guy feels good but it will not last. New feelings always feel great but they do not stand the test of time. Right now what you are going through with your husband IS a life challenge. Don't run from it. That is what you and your husband needs now is for YOU to be strong. Take charge of your home and get into couples counseling. Focus on the good in your marriage and start from there.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 11:59 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • If your husband will not go to therapy, then you get yourself to a counselor.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 12:03 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

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