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how do i get my son to behave in public and at home?

when my son is in public or at home he throse temper tantrums and he screams and hits. i dont know what to do is it something i am doing?

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Asked by kimmi22 at 11:47 PM on Mar. 18, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • walk away...and if he doesn't stop in a few minutes go back to him tell him point blank..eye to eye you will not listen to him while he is acting angry(it helps to mention emotions because half the time they don't even know what the heck their emotions are..think pms for a preschooler type of thing, lol!) tell them that you will not listen to crying and loud voices only to calm voices and to let you know when they are done...seriously kids come around when treated with kindness and some respect...all to often a person acts as if the child is without feelings and think the child should be "seen and controlled" that doesn't get results.. being at their level does...also the crying thing you have to sit back and think..could they be hungry? or tired?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • Ok your not going to like this, but my son attempted the same thing and i nipped it in the butt real quick literally. He would throw fits and i would get to his level and tell him in a stern voice "you need to quit, theres nothing wrong with you, you have everything you need and if you want something you say please, now stop or else your going to get punished" thing is you cant just say that you have to pull thru. If the fit gets worse, dont warn him again. either put him in a timeout chair facing the wall, tv off, in a quiet room, or make him stand in a corner. If worse comes to worse spank him, not beating, but a nice hard slap on the upper thigh/butt area will get his attention. Your the mom, your in charge, they want to see where their boundaries are, when they know they have them, they feel safe. If it continious,(depending on age) take the tv, games and toys away for a few days. CONSEQUENSES girl!

    Answer by 1stmomma07 at 12:10 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Stick him in the corner until he's done with his fit. No books, no toys, no TV, no YOU. Ignore him until he's done.

    When he's finished, tell him he can leave the corner when he's ready to do as he was told or correct his behavior (which ever the case may be).

    If in public, sit his butt on the floor right then and there until he's done...again ignoring him (but obviously keeping an eye on him!) You'll get some looks from people..I have. But I just tell them, "if he wasn't throwing a fit, he wouldn't be sitting in time out right now" loud enough for them AND him to hear.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 8:06 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Many people have great answers when it comes to consequences for behavior and I agree with ignoring some behaviors, especially those that are for getting attention. I also agree that there could be causes like hunger or tiredness. I think that before he gets a chance to display these inappropriate behavior,s there are some proactive things you can try.

    I always tried to give my girls some reminders before we went into a store or restaurant about my expectations for their behavior. Maybe as we were driving there I would say, "Remember girls, when we get into the store we are going to stay with mommie and walk beside the buggy. We will be looking for ...... and you can be my helpers! " I want to see you walking in the store and keeping your hands to yourself......etc. What ever behaviors you know might be a problem, state in a positive way what you want them to do.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 9:46 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Also just as important is to "Catch them doing the right things and praising/rewarding them for doing them. Say, "_____, Mommy really likes how well you are walking in the store and staying with me." or Mommy is so proud of the way you are being my helper. You have found everything that I had on my list.' Let them take turnsf inding items and also marking off items on your list. It gives them something to do. Hope this helps! Happy shopping!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 9:50 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • By disciplining him consistently in both places - pick your discipline and stick with it. If you do time outs at home, then at the store drop everything and put him in time out in the car. If you take away privileges at home, then take away the privilege of coming to the store with you. If you spank at home, spank at the store. If you give him words for his emotions at home, do the same at the store. Don't keep trying new stuff because "it's not working" - you have to stick with it for months/years before you get the same, consistent results. I also suggest you understand what his triggers are and try to deal with tantrums before they start. Also, sometimes, kids just need to have tantrums - they can't control their emotions and just need to express them. Help him learn how to express them appropriately - like hitting pillows instead of people. Like a PP said, also catch him being good - positive reinforcement works.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:03 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • One time one of my kids was throwing a huge tantrum over something silly. I was tired of listening to it (I had 3 small kids, each a year apart, so I heard a lot of tantrums). They were probably 4 or 5 so I got down on the floor and started screaming, kicking and crying. When they tried to talk to me I would just scream louder. Finally I stopped and sat up. I had all 3 of their attentions after that. I looked all of them and said, "I looked pretty crazy doing that and it was really annoying wasn't it?" They all nodded in agreement and for the next few weeks when ever they would start to throw a fit over nothing I would start to whine like them and they would shut up right away. Seems to work really well on the 3 1/2-5 year olds.
    Now I just tell them to go to their rooms until they can behave like normal people. In public they got a spanking if they didn't knock it off. They rarely misbehave in public.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:33 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

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