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My marriage is going down the drain! HELP!!

me and my hubby fight so much 1) he plays his damn xbox 360 so much 2) i tell him im not happy- he dont reply 3) i tell him i want to save our marriage , he :"doesnt want to talk about it" and hes got it some where in his head i will not leave him. like i couldnt find better? i feel that he thinks no one else would want me. i hate this so much...well the other nite we got in a huge fight.. well i was saying some mean things to him too but he said horrible things to melike ; "get your teeth fixed" "do you want some butter to go with those rolls"!!! < can u believe that? and the man i fell in love with 5 years ago would never even consider saying ANYTHING like this. i just dont know what to do. any help will be greatly appreciated.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Mar. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • Leave him. Find somebody better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • It doesnt sound like you can say or do anything to change the way he is now. I rarely recommend a woman leave her husband because I believe in vows and hard work. But abuse including verbal is grounds for divorce. Maybe he doesnt believe you will ever leave him, but if he's like that and you would, then you should.
    You can't help a person that doesn't want to even talk about it. Maybe leaving will be his wake up call.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:15 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • please keep in mind we have an 8 month old daughter and have been married 2 years
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • girl if he doesn't know what you are worth after all that time he isn't worth your time now at all.... he proably thinks that since u never have left before that you just won't. Most men think like that and it takes you actually leaving for them to wake up. Just pray on it and go with your heart do what is best for yourself and it will all work out.
    Lovebugto2

    Answer by Lovebugto2 at 1:17 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Marriage counseling? You need to find some way to get him to communicate with you other than arguing.. I have the same problem at times :( Good luck.
    SandraB383

    Answer by SandraB383 at 1:18 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • ive told him im going to leave but he wants to fight over me taking my daughter with me. so then i give up cause i dont want her aroun that...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Don't just "leave him". Man, I can't believe some of the flippant attitudes people have towards marriage. If you're gonna bail when things get rough then don't take a freaking vow. Ugh.

    Anyway, OP: There are SO many things you guys can do to work on your marriage. I would highly recommend a marriage councelor. A lot of times your insurance will help pay for that. An outside mediator would really be beneficial to you guys, as well as give you tools and exercises for working through things.

    Right now it sounds like the respect for each has gone out the window. If you can't or won't do counseling you can try starting with one night a week that you guys have predetermined to be YOUR night....no xbox, no computer,. just the 2 of you...hanging out, reconnecting, making love, having fun together. Somehow you've got to get reconnected.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • But she's already around it. Its not just the fighting that effects children. Its the parents who dont love, show love, give love to each other. And its having moms who are depressed and unhappy because of the man in their lives.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:22 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Ugh....I dont' know why that came up anon...Guess I accidentally pressed the button.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 1:22 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I'm not flippant at all on marriages. But i don't believe any woman should stick around for verbal abuse. And since she said he won't even have a SMALL conversation about their problems, I doubted highly that he would go to counselling unless he knows she is seriously leaving. i hope I'm wrong though.

    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:24 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

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