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looking for some advice

i have a 13 year old son whom i havent seen or spoke with in eleven years and i am writing the very first contact letter to him but im stumped on how to begin. any advice

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julybrandy

Asked by julybrandy at 1:35 AM on Mar. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • sorry i havent been there for u.........
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • It's really hard to give advice without knowing the situation, and I'm sure you don't want to put that all out there. Basically though, keep in mind that no matter what, in his mind you are his mom, and for whatever reason you were not there for him. Don't make excuses...just be honest and allow him to be angry if he wants too.

    Good luck.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 1:50 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Just write what is in your heart. God bless!
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:54 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Did you adopt him out? I think it is an amazing and couragous thing to do btw!! I was just being nosey. I know that this is going to sound cheesy, but maybe start with a "Hello."
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 2:07 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • be honest dont try to cover up for ur mistakes ..i speak from experience...my mother did that with my younger sublings...anyways just be super honest,and if he is angry(shich is normal)let it b for a while but keep trying..in the end is god who must judge and not him..god bless n good luck
    lhernandez7208

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 4:28 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • If he was only 2 the last time you saw each other, he won't remember you --- unless whoever is raising him has kept him up to date on your well-being and all. Personally -- and I don't mean to be ugly -- I wouldn't contact him through a letter. Thirteen is a hard age all on it's own w/o getting a letter out of the blue from a mom he's never really known. Of course, I don't know the circumstances that surround this... but I'd think the best way to contact him would be through a mutual agreement w/ whoever has been raising him.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 7:44 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • It's hard to say not knowing the situation. I was adopted out within my family and I want nothing to do with my birth mother because she didn't contact me or do anything for me while I was little. She had the oppurtunity.. It is good to start while he is still young and maybe you can salvage the relationship. If he tell you he wants nothing to do with you keep trying because you don't want it to seem as if you have left him not once but twice. If my real mother had done that I think I would be civil to her now. God Bless!
    PunkinLPN

    Answer by PunkinLPN at 8:34 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

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