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Can someone give me advice?

My bf thinks I cheated - I did not. I have very good friends back home that I talk to for a long time on the phone (they have been my friends for 11 years). He now constantly checks my cell phone, my laptop, the house phone, even googles my name and checks everything that comes up to "check up" on me. i am not even doing anything. He does not even check on his 13 y/o swon like he checks on me, it is crazy. He was never like this ... until now.
Anyone have any advice? I have tried talking to him. It turns into a fight and is stupid. He insists I have cheated on him (b/c of long phone calls) and that is not the case.

I am lost and don't know what to do. Please do not bash ~ I look forward to your advice though :)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • try making him feel secure. Show him love a little more so that he doesnt feel like your losing intrest in him. Guys need alot of attention. And if your giving it to someone else other than them, they get inscure. Give it some time, after showing him affection, he wont feel like your on to something.
    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 2:58 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • It's possible that he no longer wants to be in the relationship and is looking for any reason to get out...and of course making it seem like it's your fault would probably make him feel better. It's also possible that he is guilty of something and wants an excuse to blame you for doing what he did. I find it strange that he is all of a sudden this interested in the things that you are doing. You could give the phone calls a break by spending less time on the phone and see if he still checks up on you. If he does then somethings not right. Try to talk to him again calmly and see if you can't get to the bottom of it. Good Luck!
    apattinson

    Answer by apattinson at 2:59 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Usually the guilty like to acuse others to take the focus off of them...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • personally I think he's cheating on you and thats why hes all of a sudden doing his check ups, with you trying to talk to him and it turning into fights is also a sign
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 3:00 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • him hiding something could be bringing his guilt out...
    BUT ...Its not going to do any good if you become paranoid about it. Truth always comes out..
    As long as your not doing anything wrong on your part, you cna only tolerate his behavior for so long. Then the question, "do i even want to be with him", will come, and you cna decide for yourself...if being with him is really worth dealing with his insecurities.
    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 3:07 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • yeah, the only thing that seems to explain the change in behavior and obsession with catching you doing something wrong is him doing something wrong
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:07 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • many men act like that when they are cheating to redirect a woman's attention. Once a woman is focused on proving she's not cheating she doesn't watch him. I'm not saying he is, I am saying quit putting so much effort into proving something you know is not happening and watch him and his behavior. Of course it could be he is just insecure but why all of a sudden? Just pay attention and stay alert
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:14 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Anon said exactly waht I was thinking...I wish you the best.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 3:55 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • yep...the anonymous one is right!! maybe you should start checkin up on him every once in a while.
    soccermama08

    Answer by soccermama08 at 4:06 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Usually when they start this crap, it's because they have done something shady and are just hoping to find dirt on you to justify what they did wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

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