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SAHMs!!!! advice???

I am about to have my third baby. Up until this point I have held a job, or been in school. and therefore have not really stayed at home all day, when my babies could start daycare I'd go back to work (I was a single mom then- married now)
I do not work well at home all day. The times I have done it in the past between semesters of college have about killed me. I don't know that I was cut out to handle the 24/7 call of duty. I feel trapped in my house if I have no where to go.

Now, because of my husband being providor I get to be a SAHM with my two older girls and my newborn. I need to be able to do this for my children and for myself. Tell me please, what is the hardest thing for you and how did you overcome it? What ideas, advice, tips do you have for handling it.

Please do not bash, I am looking for help and advice, not to be told I shouldn't be a mother if I can't handle it (I've second guessed myself enough)

 
LuckyClown

Asked by LuckyClown at 3:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I completely understand what you are saying and I can honestly tell you that the first six months will suck, you will be lost, you will probably feel lonely and you will hate it, I should also say that you will find a routine that works for you IF you stay busy. Your newest little one will keep you busy for a while, but you will need to prepare your oldest two for some boring days (I have been a SAHM for almost three years and I have the exact opisite of you, 6 and 4 and now 7 month old BOYS!). Summer is easiest, you can go outside and do stuff, doesn't even matter what. Wintertime, you need to stock up on movies, coloring books and crafts, science experiments and cooking or baking and just general busy work. You will get the hang of it eventually, but the first six months were the hardest on me, I didn't have a clue because I worked full time and now it's just second nature, I can't imagine working and leaving my boys home!
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 3:48 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • basic detail info my children are 4 and 6, both girls. The baby is a girl as well. They are generally easy, good kids.
    I graduate in May with my bachelor's in Secondary/ English/ Education. I will then be taking ayear off to be with the baby before looking for a teaching job

    Baby gabriella will be born in July-
    I am more worried about winter than summer- when there's no where for us to go and burn energy
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 3:39 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • the hardest thing for me is feeling like im not getting a break. my husband and i discuss this all the time. i feel like he gets a break from the house and the tantrums of our 2 year old. he has started helping me more and trying to give me a break a couple hours on the weekend.
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 3:40 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I hate staying at home all day. I clean and play with my son ALL day. I think he's getting sick of it and he's four months old. LOL I've been out of work for four months and I'm looking for a job but in the mean time I do enjoy being home with my son...that's it. I get on CM and that helps A LOT!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • my best advice to you is to try and do things by yourself (when your husbands home to watch the kids) like going to the store or even running errands on the weekends. When I first became a SAHM i felt extremely lonely because I no longer had adult conversations all day long and I started feeling like a prisoner in my own home it was horrible I did not think I could do it at first but I figured out a way to keep my sanity. Good luck I wish you the best!
    saysha100687

    Answer by saysha100687 at 3:48 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Think about what you need to accomplish each day. Write it down. Put it in order of priorities. It doesn't mean you will get everything done that day, but you will have definite goals. What you don't get done that day, move to the next day. Plan on serving meals at about the same time each day. Plan on having children nap at about the same time each day. That will give you a little time to do the things you can't do when they are awake. Plan on taking them outside at least some days. Play with them in the yard, go for a walk, go to a park. Meet some other moms for play dates. You don't have to stay home 24/7 to be a SAHM. Think every day about how quickly your children will be all grown up and gone. Enjoy every minute that you get to spend with them. It's a great life. I've been home 36 years.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:48 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Being a SAHM is not for everyone so don't feel like you have to or there is something wrong with you cause you don't want to. I agree with SThompson in that you need breaks. It is a really tough job and it lasts much more than 8 hours with a lunch break. I would at least give it a try and see how it works and be open to the fact that it may not work for you. My dd was born in August and the Winter has been a little tough. She has been teething and I feel like I had cabin fever by the first snowfall. I went for walks anyday that I could. I bundled her up and got some fresh air. And I will also go to the mall and just walk around. Just a change of scenery can make a huge difference in the day. You will be plenty busy so I wouldn''t worry about that. If you do feel bored then pick up a hobby of reading ro crafting or something. I do think being at home is a great gift to your children. GL!
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 3:48 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • The hardest thing for me, I feel so alone... When SO gets home I want attention, and he's not always willing to give it, due to his long days at work (up at 4 and bed at 7:30) I get very emotional and make him feel awful, not on purpose of course, but that is the hardest thing for me....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Good for you for doing this or at least admitting that youre struggling with it and need advice. I ve been at home for 13 yrs. My oldest is almost 15. I think the hardest thing for me is when I feel like I don't have anything to do. I know that I do, but I just can't get motivated to do it. There are days that I have no time and other days that I have too much time. I wish there was more of a balance, but thats probably just me and my time management skills. I also have had times when I was really lonely. I have lots of friends but I cant "do" lunch and shopping every day with them. I go through phases for sure. Sometimes I am completely content to be by myself. Remember that being a sahm is not about not working or being at home...its about your kids. YOu are home so that you can RAISE them and train them. Decide how you want your kids to turn out and spend your energy creating that environment for them. Its about them. GL!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 4:20 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Ladies thank you so much for leting me know I am not alone. I often wonder fi that "mommy" gene didn't copy right on me... I mean, what kind of woman feels trapped by her own home? (besides me I mean)
    There are some great ideas here. I think i will need to make a schedule and stick to it... actually treat it like a real job... and be prepared with activities and "get aways"

    Anony 4:12, I really think I will be driving my hubby crazy in attempt to get some adult interaction. I feel bad for him already. I have talked to him about it though and warned him that i'd need him to help maintain my sanity...he seems ok with it.
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 4:21 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

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