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How would you talk to your 7 yr. old daughter about bullying?

I got an email from our daughter's 1st grade teacher today stating that she and another child have been teasing another child in the class, and that child's mom has contacted the teacher about it. Our daughter has NEVER done this before, and we've NEVER had a problem with our daughter being mean or teasing other kids. Our daughter has only been at this school for almost 2 mos. We were a military family. She went to 2 schools for kindergarten and now 2 for 1st grade. She has had a lot of adapting to do in the past 2 school years. This was not something she was used to. She has ADHD and has always had kids alienate her because of it. She's very sweet and funny and loves to be with other kids. I am afraid that she is falling into peer pressure to tease other kids in order to be accepted. My husband and I will be talking to her this evening. How should we talk to her about this? Any ideas?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (3)
  • It may be peer pressure. id want to know more about the other girls as well. Maybe you should set up a teacher conference with your child, the teacher & her bully friend... Just let your dd know bullying is not the way to get anywhere. how would she feel if you bullied her when she got home from school...
    I hope this doesnt sound bad in any way. but if you guys are moving alot at the moment have you thought of homeschooling your dd. HS is very social now days & you can get involved with groups of HS kids, that way she isnt having atleaste she will contstantly have you as her teacher & you can teach her. every time she changes school she is having to worry about teachers, friends, getting to class & curricullum is diffrent as well.. just a thought :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I would talk to her and ask her what happened. Sometimes there is MORE TO THE STORY. Especially at this age. Find out the facts from your daughter's point of view. If you find out what the teacher said is true....tell her you are disappointed and that this is a sure way to loose friends not make them. There are all kinds of great books about bullying for her age. Sometimes having her read about about it (which speaks to her in her words/her age level) can be very helpful and she will see herself in the situation and provide her with helpful resolutions. Look at these books about bullying (the books start on page 11 and you should click through to see them all).  If you click on the book it will give you info about it and the reviews about it.


    Answer by momjs at 6:03 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Update: We talked to our daughter, and we are pretty sure that she was telling us the truth that she did not tease this little girl. She started crying tears trying to defend herself about this issue. Normally, if she was lying or not telling the truth, she'd get really angry and not want to talk about it. We explained to her that teasing is not a way to make friends. She said that this little girl had not let her try to befriend her in the past. I told her that it would be nice to write this little girl a letter or draw a pic. for her and try to befriend her even if the little girl is not interested. She did that, plus she added a few things that she wanted to give her. We saw the little girl and her family last night at a school event, and our daughter gave the little girl her note and goodies and the little girl ironically also had a gift for her. The rest of the night, they were like best friends. I think they are friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

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