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what should i do hes only 16?

ok my bf and i were suppose to get his brother when hes mom passed away but she got so sick after she mentioned it that it was never changed in her will! so i found condoms in his bag the other nite and im not sure what to do about it his grandma has custody but she doesn't ever take control just lets him do what he please! help ladies

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Your bf needs to talk ot him. On the plus side he has condoms so hopefully he is using them. Your bf can instruct him on how to use them correctly & everytime. In my opinion it doesn't matter who has custody he's your family and if your bf is at all close to him he needs to talk to him.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:33 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Well he is 16 he is not a child or a baby. It is a good thing he has condoms. Hopefully he uses them so nobody gets pregnant or anything like that. This is normal
    Carli17

    Answer by Carli17 at 4:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I would have your bf or you (whichever he gets along better with), and just make sure he is being safe and to just let him know that if he needs to talk or anything that you guys are there for him. Chances are that if he has the condoms he is already having sex. I would be happy that he is 16 and not 14 even and that he has the condoms. Better to be safe than sorry. right?1
    Bamzakarat

    Answer by Bamzakarat at 4:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • well, at least he's using condoms. ...I would just make sure that his grandma knows and that your DH has a talk with him about not trusting girls who say they us BC and about continuing to use a condom even if he's 100% sure she's on BC because there is still a risk of STD's and the only thing that even HELPS to prevent that (besides abstenance) is condoms. . ...there's really not much else you can do, really.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:40 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I agree with ria7. One thing to keep in mind also is that when I was that age and even a little younger, some of my friends (who were mostly boys) carried condoms or kept them because they thought it made them look cool. If your bf asks him about it and he denies being sexually active, and claims he has them for some other reason, casually remind him that they do expire. The biggest problem with teens these days (in my opinion) is not necessarily that they are sexually active, but that they are for the wrong reasons. Many teens feel pressured to engage in sexual behavior by their friends, TV, etc. The biggest thing to remember is not to be embarrassed yourself when talking to them or it will make for an even more tense feel than it has to be. Just do your best to make sure he gets properly educated about STDs and how easily they are transmitted. It may even scare him away from the idea. *We can hope*
    Good luck!
    soconfused1701

    Answer by soconfused1701 at 4:42 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • You should be happy that he has condoms, it doesn't mean he is for sure having sex but that he will be prepared if and when he does. You or SO should talk to him about making good choices and making the decision to have sex for the right reasons and make sure that he is informed that condoms are NOT 100% effective. Also that he needs to be to prepared to face the consequences if the condoms fail.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 4:47 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • grandma has custody, unless you take her to court and get custody, there's nothing you can do.
    Niecie

    Answer by Niecie at 5:13 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • and i'm not sure there's anything you can do even then....
    Niecie

    Answer by Niecie at 5:14 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • he is 16 and his hormones are flying... look at it this way at least he is using protection...there's kids out there that start being sexually active at much younger ages like 13...you my want to have the birds and the bees talk with him and just tell him you found them
    Love_My_Lil_One

    Answer by Love_My_Lil_One at 6:35 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • he is growing up, thank GOD you are finding condoms atleast he's protecting himself. i'm sure he is hurting due to his loss, the only thinh you can do is be supportive of your brother in-law, have your husband talk to him and even you ask him do he need to talk sometimes saying that is all a kid need,
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 9:04 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

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