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I don't know if this is racist or not? Or maybe culturist?

I personally don't want my son to date women of another culture. Not just race but culture too. I want him to date a nice,white,girl from a middle class American background who wants to stay home and rasie my grandkids. Does this mean I'm racist?
I don't think so but some people do. I don't want him dating someone from another country, even if they are white. I just want him to marry some girl in our hometown and stay here and raise a family. I want this girl to have the same basic family values that we have instilled in our son.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • People are going to say YES. But I understand where you are coming from. Having different cultures can sometimes cause issues with couples. My dh and I are alike in many ways, but our families couldnt be more different. Like night and day, it causes lots of issues with us. So if you have a baby and one person is Christian and the other person is Buddist or whatever. You can have some heated arguments that can split up families.

    Its a fine line to walk, but I see your issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • You want him to marry his sister? Because otherwise hate to break it to you but most people have different upbringings, cultures, habits, traditions. Unless its someone hes raised with odds are he will seek something different because thats what kidsdo. They seek their own identity away from their parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • It's not your choice, it's your sons! It's prejudice!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • So if he met a white girl that didn't share the same attitude, values and goals that you and your family shared you're telling me that you wouldn't except her? Ive seen and heard many situations about mothers that has this big picture of who they want their kids to be with but in most cases they turn out to be highly dissappointed. Just be happy that hes happy.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 4:52 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • it doesn't necessarily make you racist, just narrow minded, and a little selfish. wouldn't you just want your son to be happy?

    Answer by lalasmom8 at 4:52 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • would you really be that disappointed if he married a girl of another race/culture/class and she turned out to be a very nice girl, good wife, and mother and he loved her? or what if she chose not to stay home and raise kids forever? honestly would you dislike her because shes not what you wanted him to marry? how old is your son? im not bashing im just curious

    Answer by SThompson21 at 4:52 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • You should want your son to marry someone he loves and makes HIM happy, not you, doesn't matter who that is.

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:53 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • ...and yes to society you may sound a little prejudice. You're making it seem your better than other people whose different than you are. We all bleed red blood.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 4:54 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I don't think you should have a say in the matter. It is your son's life, not your's! By setting these kinda standards for your future daughter in law, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. We live in America hunny. There are all kinds of people with different backgrounds and cultures. Love is love, no matter what "type" of person they are. As long as your son ends up happy, that is all that should matter.

    Answer by TilmannsGirl at 4:54 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I feel it's smothering him, you need to let him make his own choice. True love comes in all colors, beliefs, and backgrounds. Who are you to tell him differently. Chances are if you put out such rigid "guidelines" he is going to rebel against them. Raise him in the way you see fit and he will follow what is in his heart as an adult. The best thing you can do as a Mother is support your child in every decision they make.

    Answer by happyathomemum at 4:54 PM on Mar. 19, 2009