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Was I molested or am I just messed up!?

When I was 7 I was molested by my mothers 30 year old brother with whom we lived with. I told my mom 4 years later. When I was 16 my mom's other brother who was 28 hit on me and got me to beat him off through his pants. My question is...I could have said no but I didn't!! I didn't want to do that but I didn't say no and since I was 16 would you say I was molested or messed up? I am completely embarrassed and will never tell my mom. She doesn't even believe that I was molested when I was 7 by her other brother

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • I think that it is sad that your mom doesn't believe you. I would say that the 28 yr old did violate your rights-not only for being 26-but for being family. YOU are not at fault here. He shouldn't have put you in that situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • 16-not 26, sorry
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • yeah you were molested, its not your fault thats what they want you to think! im so sorry, hugs to you!
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 5:19 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • No matter that you were 16, you were a child. 26 is an ADULT. ADULTS have the responsiblity.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 5:27 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I have though that I was a discusting freak for such a long time. These answers mean so much to me. I am 25 and have never told anyone!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • You were not at fault. Maybe your mom acts like she doesn't believe you because they did somethig to her and she doesn't want to believe it...?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Clearly you know that what was done to you was wrong. And you should be able to say that these things were done to you and NO that they are not your fault.

    I was molested by my father when I was young and I was really made to feel as though the events that took place after my mom left him were my fault. If I hadn't spoken up-we could've had a "better life."

    I remember the night before we left my mom told me that I had to act normal and to not be alone with my dad-to avoid him. Well, I couldn't. He had me on his lap when she walked in and she called me into the bathroom and shook me soo violently saying "you like it! you like it when he does it, so help me if your lying I will never forgive you" Mind you, I was 6 years old. I don't remember a whole lot from my childhood. Large black holes of my early years, don't hate yourself. Life is too short.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I agree that you were absolutely taken advantage of when you were 16. I am so sorry that your Mother doesn't believe you, that must have been crushing for you but, know that there are people who understand who would never blame or disbelieve you. Your Mother is probably in severe denial and I can only imagine what her childhood was like considering how both of her brothers are (that still in no way excuses her). It is more common for someone who has been victimized (especially as a child) to be revictimized, that is the only connection I see and still it's not your fault. If you can I would definitely seek out some sort of counseling&/or a support group, to help you deal with the things that have happened to you. I wish you the best.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 5:42 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • Just b/c you didn't say or do anything to stop that act does not mean you are "messed up"! You were molested! Age has little to do with it in your situation. Especially since a similar event happened to you at an even younger age and nobody stepped up to help you....how could you know what to say or how to act? Its not your fault! I'm so sorry that you mom doesn't believe you...some people can't face truth like that (or I highly suspect what a PP wrote about them doing it to her).

    And honestly, there are cases of victims of sexual abuse/molestation that go on to "enjoy" the acts and/or recreate the feelings they experianced. This is a malfunction of your brain's chemistry as a way to protect your feelings. Your brain recognizes a traumatic event and then tries to compensate with "good" feelings if it experiances the event again. That still does not mean its your fault! This can be fixed w/counseling. Get some help and GL!!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 5:55 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I'm so sorry to say it but you were molested. I'm even sadder that your mom is not being a support person for you. Maybe you can find a counsellor to talk to about this.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 6:20 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

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