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How do i get her to stay in bed

My dd has just recently decided she doent want to stay in bed once we tuck her in. We have tried rewarding her if she stays in bed, spanking if she gets up too much, letting her sleep with us. but nothing is working. she does this any time she goes to bed whether it is for a nap, quiet time, or night time. i am at my wits end. she says she wants me, but wont say why. there is a nightlight in her room. she has calming music playing... and she says she isnt having scary dreams. i just dont understand why she wont go to sleep without getting up for every excuse under the moon


Asked by Phippsandrea at 8:47 PM on Mar. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (12)
  • My DD is going to be 4 next month she does the same thing. It is the age they don't want to miss anything. I will put her in bed and turn on the bathroom light and I turn on her radio and as soon as I turn off the bedroom light and go down stairs (she always waits until I go down stairs though) then she will tell me she needs her baby doll or needs her barney which she sleeps with or she needs to get a drink or she needs to go potty. Oh and my favorite lol I will tell her to gove daddy a kiss and a hug before bed but she will not do it so I say fine lets go to bed then she will get up the top of the steps and say I need to give daddy a kiss. So what I do is I have her do what she needs to before bed she still asks for things I tell her to go to bed and if she does not stay up in that room in the bed she is not aloud to have her radio on and I tell her she will get one warning and then also a spanken that usually works

    Answer by mommy5409 at 9:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • before you send her to bed, make sure you take care of all excuses. Get a drink, go to the bathroom, etc. Once you put her to bed, when she gets up, just keep taking her back to bed. don't dilly dally in the room. just keep taking her back. eventually it should work. also, webmd has some good bedtime guides.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:51 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • try siting next to her bed till she falls asleep. Keep her in bed.

    Answer by gammie at 8:51 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I'm not an expert at this situtation, because my little one is only 17 months. But try reading to her and singing a lullaby. I believe children their age still like the idea that they can still snuggle and cuddle with their parents like they did when they were babies. Doesnt hurt to try, maybe try telling her you need to be a big girl and go to sleep at a certain time.

    Answer by avonmom83 at 9:05 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I just got my DD to sleep in the bed after 2 years of her sleeping on the floor in the hallway by our bedroom door lol

    Answer by mommy5409 at 9:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • my 4 yr old is doing the same thing,, ha maybe this is an age thing. she will not go to sleep in her bed. we do the kisses n hugs and tucking in. got the night lite and drink. actually she still has a cup in bed. but she will be in my bed in 5 mins. ha so i just let her go to sleep then carry her to bed. she usually stays then.

    Answer by strtngovrmom at 12:35 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • i hate to suck the wind out of anyone's dd is 7 and still does everything the op stated.....even the saying "i just want you"'ve done the taking care of all the excuses before bed....we've done the sit/lay with her til she goes to sleep (doesn't always work).....we just keep sending her back to just have to keep at it....her bedtime is 8:30.....on a good night she's out by 9......on a tough night.....she may still be at it at 11!

    Answer by bigblueeyes at 5:24 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I had the same problem, and although it kind of sucks, I mad a bed for her out of blankets on my bedroom floor, so if she is scared, she can come in there and lay without driving me crazy. As for naps you have to be firm, but maybe she just doesn't need them..I don't know. I do know that spanking will not work, especially if she is afraid. Just go with it and she will start doing better.My daughter was in my room almost every night, now it is a rare occasion, I think she feels better just knowing the option is there. Good Luck.

    Answer by monkeyberry at 8:59 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Well what i do with my kids is i give them something to look forward to. I read him a book or he can take one of his stuff animals with him to bed. Also you have to be consistant .. kids knows how to get around it. IF you arent consistant they will know and use it as an advantage. My son knows better and even though he says he doesnt want to go to bed he knows he doesnt have a choice.

    Answer by brit041 at 11:18 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Ah... we finally just got out of this stage a few months ago with our oldest... It almost drove me crazy. Ended up having to go with the old supper nanny routine. When she gets out, put her back, dont speak toher or even talk to her, just take her back put her inher bed and walk away... you will do this severall times for a few nights. But she will eventually give in..... now taht was my approch. On the nights my husband had to do bed time duty.... well if our oldest got out, he got a spanking... and then everytime he got out, dh you give him another... so after about the 4th spanking, our son got the hint.... and dh has never had problems since.... but I worry about making them think that they "cant" get out for anything... like pottying.... so I feel like my aproch is more productive...

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:09 AM on Mar. 21, 2009