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mother in law

I have a somewhat elderly mother in law with health problems. I don't feel comfortable leaving my son with her for very long. I know she cares for him and would try her best, but I don't think her reaction time is very good (plus he can be quite a handful - high energy). I also don't trust that she would anticipate things related to safety very well. My son seems to like her fine when he's in a good mood, but she doesn't seem to be able to soothe him very well if he's upset. We're going to be visiting my husband's parents later this month, and I know my husband will want to visit some old friends. I don't want to leave the baby with his parents, but I don't want to be rude or be obvious about why. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation tackfully?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Mar. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I tell my MIL that I am not ready to be separated from my son. It works. That way the fault is mine, not hers. If you're that concerned, I would just take him with you when you're visiting friends. If the friends aren't ideal people to visit (the partying types) then just let your SO go by himself. Don't put your son in any danger. His safety is your responsibility, and if her feelings are hurt... oh-well. She'll get over it.

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 1:15 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • just let your husband know how u feel and he will understand


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I think he does understand how I feel about it, but I don't think he really knows what to say to his parents either. I don't want to offend them or anything, but we either need to take him with us if we visit other people in town or not go....especially if it's late. I'm afraid they're going to be offended, because if we do one of these things then it will seem obvious we don't want to leave him with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • You might also let him go visit the friends onhis own...or ALL of you go togehter.

    It might actually be a relief to your inlaws to not be responsible for sole care.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:44 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Do you know of anyone in their town that you would trust to watch him? If you do maybe you can fib a bit and tell them you are taking him with you to meet everyone and drop him off there for a few hours? Or maybe you know someone at home that you trust and you can pay a bit extra to travel with you and stay at your in laws to "help out" while you visit friends? Since you know he can be a touch kiddo that doesn't sound too unreasonable. That's a touch situation...I hope it works out for you.

    Answer by tandknix at 1:10 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • How is the FIL with the child? Can he step up where the MIL can't? Are there cousins around who might be willing "play" with the child while with the MIL? I don't like my in -laws watching my dd either. We left, but only for short periods of time. She actually asked me how to put my dd's clothing on. Seiously, I know you haven't been around a baby since my BIL was little, but seriously!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Mar. 20, 2009