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advice please....

Its a really long story, but I'll make it as short as I can. I'm almost 24, I live with my mom and have for about a year because my bf lost his job and we lost our apt. He wasn't welcome to move in here because him and my mother don't get along. Mom wanted to claim my dd on taxes because we lived with her all year, butI worked and took care of myself and my dd and gave my mom whatever I had left out of every paycheck... I claimed my dd on taxes and was going to use that money to move out...BUT my mom told me if I did she would never speak to me again, she said I owed her that money. Everything that she does for my dd she throws back up in my face "well I did this and this and you didn't do anything" that kind of crap. I love my mom dearly but I don't know what to do. She is also always undermining me when it comes to my dd and what I want for her. She makes me feel as if I am incapable of taking care if myself and my dd. HELP

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Also she ended up getting my taxes and I never saw a dime of because she did them for me and had them deposited into her account...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • leave. she's codependent as fuck on you. ive seen this before with my grandma and her kids. and the ones who didnt get out......turned out pretty screwed in the head and resentful. get out now

    Answer by moki1984 at 9:14 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Move out I know that we all need help at some point in time but move out if you have the money Do not depend on others when you are capable to take care of yourself and your child

    Answer by crazy_mum at 9:15 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Do whatever you have to do to leave, and resist her efforts to make you stay. You need to get you and your child out of this dysfunctional situation. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I agree, you really need to get out of there. It's not healthy for you or your child.

    Answer by drpepper73 at 9:19 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • She sounds like a toxic parent and for your daughters sake you need to move out as soon as you can.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:36 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Obviously she didn't want you moving out and leaving her alone. She sounds a lot like my mom when she was draining me of every dime so I couldn't leave. Learn to be indiependent. You can't do anything if she took your taxes this time but you can prepare for next year's taxes. You can do them online and for free and it's simple, just follow the instructions at Make sure you tell her next year you have already filed (even if you have not) so she won't do it again. The IRS will give the money to whoever files first. (been there done that and called the IRS to complain) Your mom is a control freak like mine was. They offer to help then strangle you when they do and throw everything up in your face. I even have an adult dd like that. Sad. They seldom have a kind thing to say but love draining you of everything from money to self esteem. I ended up calling x-dh (estranged at the time) and telling him get me out of here!

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:44 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

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