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What do you think about this?

I have a friend whose daughter is in 1st grade. This child sets an alarm, wakes up for school, dresses and feeds herself, goes outside to catch the bus, all while her mother is still asleep. She doesn't get up with her. Is this teaching the child responsibility or is she too young? I think the mother should wake up but I can't say that to her. Just wondering what others thought.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Mar. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I think it's too much responsibility to put on such a young child. It seems to be the trend today to expect children to be nothing more than miniature adults. I could not have done that when mine were little, and I think it will take its toll on this child emotionally. The fact that she is able to do it is remarkable and tells me that this child has probably had to do most of what has been done for her. Children need to be nurtured and cared for by their parents, and I think your friend is making a big mistake and that her child is being psychologically damaged by her inattention. I also think she is being immensely selfish by not being willing to get up and spend that hour with her child before she leaves for school. She can always go back to bed. I would probably warn her that what's she is doing will prove to be harmful in the long run.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:40 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Well, At a certain point, I think its good, and at the same time, look at how much she is missing! And what if something happened to her daughter while at school?!? And the police asked her what she was wearing, she wouldn't have a clue! Any number of things could happen!
    If you really want my opinion, she needs to wake her ass up in the AM, to get her DD off to school. Period. That's what naps are for.
    Not trying to be mean or anything, but damn, man, come on! YOUR MISSING OUT ON YOUR CHILDS LIFE!

    Answer by Lakemom22 at 10:37 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I can't really give my opinion unless I know all the details such as did the mom just have a baby or does she work nights, etc. I do think that it is good for the child to get up on her own, however, I think that a parent (whether it be mom or dad) needs to at least be awake and watch her until she gets on the bus.

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:41 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • hmmm i think a first grader is too young for all this work. But it is none of my business,just help keep an eye on her and maybe send a anon letter to the mom. Child abductions do happen.

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 10:43 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • i still wake up with my kids and they are much older. thats terrible

    Answer by j-dub09 at 10:44 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Maybe the mom suffers from a medical condition?

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 10:44 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I think at 5 that's too young. My 15 and 12 yos do that almost every school day. I work until 11 pm and don't go to sleep till after midnight and the oldest gets up at 530. So I wouldn't get any sleep. My 3 yo gets up around 730 and I get up with her.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:44 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • That is what I had to do. Therefore, I will never make my sons do that. I hated having to be that responsible at that young of an age and it made me grow up quicker than I should have.

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:47 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • OP here- mother has no medical issues, youngest child is three, she works 3 or four days a week until 5. The days she works, her hubby doesn't wake up with the daughter either. They both sleep in just because they want their sleep. Daughter will even fix her younger brother his breakfast while the parents sleep until 10 or 11 am.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • While I think its great that the child is responsible enough to do that, I feel that she shouldn't be forced to be that responsible. I think it's lazy parenting. My oldest is 15, and I still like to be up in the am too see him off

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:58 AM on Mar. 20, 2009