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Do you think this is rude??

My SIL and her 3 kids are coming down to visit for spring break? As usual she doesn't have money for rent but has money for vacation. Anyways she has deceided to invite herself to stay at my house. This was not the original plan. I find it extremely rude to invite oneself to stay at someone's house. I do not have enough room for the four of them.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Travel

Answers (19)
  • tell her then that you dont have room and no i dont find it rude when family comes in to town here weither we have room or not we stil have them stay with us its family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I do think that is quit rude. I would discuss the issue with your hubby. If things do not go the way you would like I think you should be as pleasant as you can be, and just let him see for himself what you are concerned about. Maybe you will luck out in the future. Good Luck
    stormyrivers

    Answer by stormyrivers at 10:54 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I think it is rude to assume someone will host you without being invited. I mean it depends on how close you are to someone. my sisters and I are very close and I would love it if they would invite themselves to come visit (they live in Denver and Seattle so we only see each other about once a year).. Now if it were my MIL then I would be upset. We do NOT have a good relationship with her, (her choice). She actually did try to invite herself last summer and I told my husband he was going to have to tell her no, that they would have to stay at a hotel if they were coming to town.. (long story but her husband is not allowed anywhere near my family). Thankfully she got the clue and did not come. I hate to be like that, but she made the choice of how things are. But yes, it is rude for people to invite themselves and you ahve every right to tell them no.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • i agree with the PP
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 10:55 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Just tell her you don't have enough room and leave it at that. It'll just create a bunch of unnecessary drama and bs if you tell her you think she's rude and all that. Even if she tries to make you feel bad or argue your decision...say it again, no! Don't get me wrong, you are definitely entitled to your feelings of her being rude. I have had this kind of stuff happen to me too. I got tired of the drama so I had to start giving out blunt yes and no answers and leave the rest out, or we would start getting really crazy because of the extra drama. I think people who say I'm a bitch because I respectfully and simply say no need to re evaluate themselves. Some people think everything they want from you should be okay, then when it's not your the bitch! AAAHHHHH rediculous!
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:04 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • See Im the opposite of everyone else I guess. Im happy to have anyone visit us and they all know they are welcome to stay here! We don't have room, They would have to take over my daughter's room and she would have to sleep with us or we would get a cot or something for her but they are still welcome. My house is always open and there is always room for family. It goes the same way for us. We are in NC and our family is in MI so when we visit home we always stay with someone because it is just too expensive to ge a hotel or a week+. We usually stay with my G-ma and her house is smaller than mine with 3 people living in it. They still make room for us and happily. You should be happy you have family and be happy they want to visit you.
    TilmannsGirl

    Answer by TilmannsGirl at 11:07 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • So I take your a private person, maybe tell her you need a week to recoup from the flu, that will keep her away. You might get the flu if your stressed so not a total lie. Leave a message.
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 11:07 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I find it rude you feel this way and haven't told her. What does your hubby say? He may have invited her w/out telling you. Good luck and be careful, you may need her one day and you may ruin a relationship w/ your neices/nephews. They will think you don't love them, IMHO.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:10 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Since it is family, you make do. She should have said she was coming and is it OK to stay with you, but even then you should say Of Course! Sleeping bags or bedrolls on the floor for her children- fine. Make do, and enjoy your family. If it is a bit crowded and inconvenient, laugh it off. It's not as though it was some casual acquaintance.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:10 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • There may be something about the particular persons relationship with the op that makes her uncomfortable to stay at her house. Obviously it bothered her or she wouldn't have asked the question. There may be more to the story I don't know. All I'm saying is there is nothing wrong with being self honoring to your feelings. It's your personal space. If you don't want to have a bunch of people in your house it's okay to be assertive and say no. My mom comes to visit me and stays in my home, and she knows she doesn't have to ask. But that's us, everyone is different.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:20 AM on Mar. 20, 2009

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