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how would you react? *long*

My husband and I have afriend who is recently married to my best friend of 10 years. Her son and my oldest are 2 days apart, and have been best friends since they were born, they are 7 now. I also have a 5 year old. His friend has a border line abusive problem, is a d**k to his kids and wife and we have had trouble with him disciplining our kids before, he thinks since his wife is allowed, he is, but I know she loves them and would never hurt them, he hurts his own kids so why am I going to trust him with mine ya know? Anyway I was gone cause hubby was being a D**K cause his friend was here, and when I come home after he leaves huby and our 7 yo are arguing over if he really got choked or not. Aparently all the boys were dog piled on the bed playing, and he walked in thinkinng they were fighting and pulled my oldest off by the neck. So we get into it, cause he knows his friend is not allowed to tell our kids what to do


Asked by AK_aries at 1:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • First of all, if he left a mark on your son, your hubby should have kicked his ass. He should say he's sorry, and he should mean it. It's hard to say he should never be around your kids alone, especially since this happened when your hubby was home. Talk with your friend. She should understand. Even if she doesn't, she should respect your wishes for her a$$hole husband to NOT touch your kids ever again. I understand disciplining someone elses kid. But I think more along the lines of scolding, putting them in time outs, that kind of thing. No one has any business pulling a 7 year old off of another by the neck. He has arms, he has ears. Heck, he has hair! And the definatly shouldn't have grabbed him so hard that later on there was still a mark. Seriously, this is ticking me off. I'd be really pissed. And I'd kick hubby's ass for not kicking this guys ass!

    Answer by Buffie95 at 3:07 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Let alone touch them, and he is trying to take up for his friend. So afte rhe is gone about 10 minutes DS is saying his neck still hurts and he STILL has a really bad red mark on his neck when I go to check. I am torn because my hubby thinks that if he says sorry we should still be friends with this ass, and he is with my best friend so I will lose a friend over it too, not to mention my kids lose their best friend, but I cant have someone around my kids that hurts them, and obviously Huby is not goint to take up for them when it comes to his friend, what do I do. About the friend and abour my husband, cause I dont know how to get him to see the light oin this isue.

    Answer by AK_aries at 1:47 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Your children are more important than any friend ever will be. If you don't want the man around your kids, then don't let him be around them. Also, tell your friend and her husband that if he ever puts another hand on any of your kids for any reason, you are going to call the police and press charges. It may end your friendship, but your children have to know that you and your DH will protect them no matter what. By your DH not standing up and saying anything, it says to your children that they are left to fend for themselves. And I am not understanding one part of your question. Do you mean if your DH thinks if the guy appologises, you should still be friends with the guy? If the guy does appologise, keep him at arm's length. But I would definitely have a chat with both of them and let them know that he does not have permission to touch any of your children and if he does so again, you will procecute him to the fullest extent

    Answer by Sithpadawans at 2:07 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I would stop leaving my kids with my husband when that guy is around. And I would stop letting my kids go to their house unless I was there, too. It may strain your relationship with your friend, but it's your kids you need to protect.


    Answer by Christina807 at 2:08 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Yes, he thinks that if he appologizes we should forgive and forget. My kids dont go over to their house unless he is not at home, he has crazy rules and yells way to much and I refuse to put up with it. My boys have been having trouble with this lately already because their son can stay the night but my kids cant go over there to stay the night. But I refuse to give in on that. Talked to my friend and of corse she thinks that he just got mad and over reacted, but my thing is, he does it all the time with er kids and has never had to do more than say he is sorry and gets his way again, I am not so forgiving.

    Answer by AK_aries at 2:21 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • hell no sorry wouldn't cut it for me in this situation, i'd have him up by the neck for doing that to my child..

    Answer by dee778 at 2:22 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I pity the fool who puts their hand on my kids. I would have already had him arrested. Thats just me. ZERO tolerance when it comes to my children.

    Answer by katskelington at 2:50 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Sometimes men (especailly bullies) don't know their own strength. Since getting rid of the jerkoff isn't an option perhaps you can let him know he doesn't know his own strength. For example, I had that happen and just sort of laughed and said "whoa big fella, you don't know your own strength. Let's keep a tight rein on that in the future, ok?" That lets him know he was over the line and that you'll be watching for it in the future.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:51 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Lets just say if anyone and i mean anyone even my kids own father grabbed them by the neck or did anything of the sort, they wouldnt live to get away with it again!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 3:51 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Been there done that. Fast forward 6 years later and they are bosom buddies. Trust me ,I still can not believe how things changed in my situation with my child. Hope the best for you also.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Mar. 20, 2009