Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should i let him back???

I caught my husband cheating maybe a 2 months ago and we have been going to Marriage Counseling to try and work out Affair and our Relationship. He recently revealed to me that he wants to moce back in but i don't know how i really feel about.

Should let him move back home with me and the kids? or Should tell him its best if he stays away for awhile??

I do miss and love him, but i'm confused on what i should do.


Asked by sunshinestar110 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Well since you didnt close your question im going to guess you are still looking for answers. my fiance and i have been through this. actually more than once. and i let him back. in my opinion love conquers all. and he wanted to change and did. it took a while, but with my faith and love for him, it only made everything better. not only for OUR relationship but for him and his sons relationship as well. i think you might want to try to "start over" maybe go on some dates. have him take you out for a night on the town. if he really wants you back, he'll be more than willing to prove it. even if you guys are short on cash, there are plenty of free romantic things to do. =] hope this helped at least a little =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 1:21 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • That's totally your personal choice. If you feel like you can still work on your marriage and you can be around him more than you are already, then maybe it's time. But it just has to feel right in your heart and you need to be ready for it. We can't tell you when that is.

    Answer by DDry at 3:28 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Well I cant really tell you what you should do, but if it was ME I would not let him move back.... If it was me, I wouldnt even have done the marriage counseling.... I would have divorced him by now and made things more consistant and stable for my kids and myself.....But do what you think in your heart is right.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:29 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Everyone is different and their reasons for cheating are all but the same.
    Some cheat because they just got caught up.
    Some cheat because they need to feel needed and want to know that if they want it they can have it.
    Others cheat just because they can NOT be with the same person for the rest of their lives.
    So you have to think is he a cheater.......or did he just F*ck up?????

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • i agree, and if you say yes let him know up front what you want. we understand he hurt you and it takes time to heal. good luck mama *hugs*

    Answer by tabbys4 at 3:30 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I don't think that's something we can answer for you.  This happened to me also, and I did end up moving back in with my husband.  I though I was doing what was best for me (we didn't have children at the time).  In the end, I realized that he had not quit cheating on me.  I was even more hurt the second time.  I was also mad that I allowed myself to be hurt again (even though it was not my fault he cheated).  We are now divorced and he is living with another woman (and I've found out through his mom that he is even cheating on this new woman).
    Make sure you can trust him before you allow him to move back in with you because it only hurts worse the second time.  I would continue marriage counseling if you continue your marriage.


    Answer by bookay at 3:33 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • You could try one over night visit on the weekend to ease back into it before he brings all his stuff and then two days later you don't feel like your ready

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • only you know when it is right to let him come back. However, it's been my experience that the longer you make them wait to come home the more they sort of give up on the relationship.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:05 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Let him suffer alittle. lol I say don't let him back in until you go to counseling.

    Answer by rosadnr at 4:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • If you are currently in counseling, then bring it up with the counselor. S/he should be able to help YOU figure out if YOU are ready for him to come home. Most counselors will agree that its about your readiness and if you think you can still heal properly from the affair while having to face your hubby everyday at home. Discuss this w/the counselor.

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 6:09 PM on Mar. 20, 2009