Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you do things on your own or does your husband/boyfriend help you?

I handle most of the miscellanous things by myself. But everywhere I go there are moms with their husbands there helping them. Like at the health insurance office, DMV, even just buying groceries. My husband would rarely ever want to go to these places with me after a long day at work. I would love the help with kids and the company, but I can handle these things myself and usually do. Does your husband/boyfriend go with you everywhere? If so, why? Does he want to? Do you make him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Speaking from my experience I would say it was control. That way my husband (at the time) knew what I was buying, where I was going, and how much I was spending. If I picked out something at the store (a t shirt, shampoo, make up) and he didn't approve, I was not allowed to buy it. I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but I do think it is more common than we realize. A lot of women are probably in denial about this behavior being controlling, I know I was.
    My sister on the other hand "CAN'T" do any of this stuff on her own. She makes her hubby go everywhere with her, or just flat out do them for her. She guilts him into going with her all the time. The other day she called me up and made a HUGE deal about how she went shopping, with her two kids, without her husband. She said he owed her big time and how hard it was. She told me that she would never do it again! It was only a short trip to Walmart!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • When it was just me and him and even when we had our first son we did alot of stuff together, but now he stays home mostly so I dont have to take the kids out too. I do all that kind of stuff in our house though, he wouldnt know how to help me if he wanted to!

    Answer by AK_aries at 4:37 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • My dh would never go everywhere with me! LMAO! Why would i even want him to? I do not need to be with him 24/7 or the other way around. Of course when you are first married most ppl do it to spend time with one another. But now no way, I usually have to even buy his clothes. lol

    Answer by lovinmomto3 at 4:44 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I usually do everything on my own. I don't want to inconvenience him or myself by having him come along.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I wanted my husband to participate more in my activities but he never did until I asked him to. He did it without complaint, but I'd have thought that he'd know that I needed help lifting displays and transporting and that if a group I am in is having a marathon that I'd appreciate his showing up to lend support. So these days if I want him to help I ask him. And if I just want his company then I tell him that, too.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:56 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I don't work and once our baby is born I'll be a SAHM. I do most things by myself. I pay the bills, I go to my prenatal appointments (he is going to the ultrasound one, though), I grocery shop, I take the dogs hiking at a local state forest, I call around for anything we need (problems with the doctor's office billing) etc. by myself. Pretty much he comes home from work and we have dinner and relax together. On the weekends we do stuff together but it's whatever we want to do that weekend. Two things I won't do alone - go to the movies and eat out other than fast food or little cafes.


    Answer by Christina807 at 5:00 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • it depends.

    Answer by jbirchard at 5:04 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Nope, my mom taught me to depend on myself to get things done. If someone helps then it's a bonus.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:35 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • We do most things together. We do grocery shopping together and we both do household chores and if we are running errands on the weekend, we will go with each other. We consider it family time and enjoy hanging around each other. We do stuff on our own time too, but its nice to share in the experiance with the whole family (and with a 2 and 1 yr old, yes grocery shopping can be an Plus, my DH has been a SAHD for the past year and I'm the one working, so we split everything pretty equally. He doesn't mind at all.

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 5:35 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I balance the checkbook, pay the bills, school the kids, fail at housekeeping, train the dogs, fix the plumbing, do the cooking, take care of my parents and do all the outdoor chores, pretty much all by myself. He takes the kids to Chik-Fil-A while I'm shopping because if I took them with me, I would end up leaving them in Frozen Foods with a note: "Feed Pizza Rolls Occasionally. Clean With Damp Cloth". I don't make him do it, he does it because if I'm not totally stressed to the max, he may get sex later; even though I smell like trained dogs, plumbing and meatloaf, I'm great in the sack.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:12 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.