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I'm a SAHM and I take my daughter to daycare once a week. Everyone is saying I am terrible for it. HELP

I started doing this at the recommendation of a therapist that I just started seeing. She wants me to get more alone time and "me" time. My parents are really guilting me over this saying that I am mean, selfish and not a good mom because I should want my toddler with me at all times. My mom keeps saying over and over again that she never had such a "luxury" when we were kids. I am really feeling torn over this and am letting them get to me.

What do you ladies think? Am I being cruel by taking her to daycare?

PS. My daughter loves going too; she is never around kids her own age so this to me is a good socializing time for her.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • Just reply to your parents, (who stated that they never had that luxury)

    "Well; you always said you wanted a better life for me than the one you had. So, I'm glad that we are doing well enough to have this luxury."

    I've certainly heard of SAHM's needing a break or "day off"...cause if you are doing the SAHM job 5 days a week and then still do it on the weekends...when is YOUR weekend? I would even say you could at least take 2 days!

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 5:32 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Tell them to STFU.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • i just started working.. my dh is a sahd... We take the boys to daycare twice a week so they can play with other kids... learn more. also gives me and my dh or just my dh alone time. You need ME time and that is the best way to get it.

    plus on your child... she loves it and yes socializing is great gives her a head start

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 4:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Quit calling it daycare, tell them you placed her in a learning preschool. It sounds better to those who are against daycares.

    LOL not that you need to keep them happy. I think a little away time is good for both of you!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 4:46 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • They are just being rude. There is nothing wrong with leaving your daughter in trusted care once a week or even more. Especially since she loves it! It is good for her to make friends and for you to be able to take a nap or catch up on what you want to do.
    Just start calling it pre school. People will lay off. Having your daughter attend once weekly pre school is not a bad thing. And technically she is learning behaviors she will need to know before she starts school, hence, Pre-school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • OMG seriously. You better keep taking her to daycare one day a week or if you think it's too often take her once every other week. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. I work at a daycare and one of the moms that brings her kid does the same thing. I don't think you are saying that you don't want to spend time with your daughter...I understand completely needing a little alone time. Everyone that I have talked to says that same thing. I think those other people just need to be quiet and let you be the momma!

    Answer by Bamzakarat at 4:47 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Actually its a good idea for both of you. Your mom is probably just upset that she never got to have a little me time. Everyone needs it and if you don't eventually get it, it will are not being cruel or anything. It will (believe it or not) help her when she goes to school, she won't have as much anxiety at leaving you alone(I had to put it that way☺)BTW, who cares what others think. You really shouldn't care, its your life and your daughters, and if your daughter loves it, then thats even better.You wanna stop your parents: Ask them to care for your daughter all day once a week and see how quick their judgment stops.It should if it doesn't!

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:48 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Your parents sound a bit old fashioned. Take their "advice" with a grain of salt, nod and smile politely, same "mmhmm"....

    and then later do whatever you want...

    This is YOUR child and YOUR life. If your baby seems to be enjoying it, there is your best indicator of what the right choice is.

    Answer by Anjeey at 4:50 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • let me tell you...I'm at home with my 2 kids everyday and always was..I just put my 4 yr old in headstart this year she really likes it and it gives me a 4 hour break from her...mean while i still have the baby ALL the time...and sometimes I try to have my mom watch her while I goto the store or go out for like a 1 or 2 by myself which isnt much at all but I believe that EVERY mom needs a

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I put my son in a structured playgroup once a week and in a class at the Y once a week so he could have experience being away from Mom and dealing with structured situations. What you are doing is valuable for both you and your daughter. I agree about it being a good socializing time for her. There's no way you are being cruel to take her there.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:53 PM on Mar. 20, 2009