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How open are you to another mother's advice?

Do you have preconceived ideas of how other mothers raise their children? Do you actually listen and learn, or do you feel you know as much as you need to already? For example, would you consider the advice of a mother you saw as "crunchy" or would you dismiss her experiences?

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JoyeAustin

Asked by JoyeAustin at 6:12 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • I think it would depend on how she went about telling me her experiences and what worked for her. I mean if she is going to preach at me and tell me her way is the only "right" way to do something then I probably wouldn't be open to it but if she was just telling me her experiences and giving me suggestions to try to see if they work for me as well, then I would be more open to her advice.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 6:15 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Very good point, JeremysMom.
    JoyeAustin

    Answer by JoyeAustin at 6:21 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster. It would depend on how she was telling me something.

    Also, there's lots of times I listen to what someone says, and I can acknowledge that it's good advice and or that it worked for them with great results, but that for me, it wouldn't work (either because there are variables that make it impractical, or because even though there's nothing wrong with their way, I prefer another way, that's equally ok.)

    But there's also been a lot of times that I've gotten advice and taken it, or taken part of it, and it's worked out great for me :-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:40 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • It depends on the mom and depends on how the suggestions are presented.

    Mainly...if my mom were alive and gave advice...in one ear and out the other. Same with MIL.

    Other moms...if presented as suggestions and not "you have to do it this way" then I'll listen, weigh my options and decide what to adapt, what to ignore and what to adopt.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 6:43 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Well I'd listen to the "crunchy mom" because I'm a crunchy mom!
    No seriously, I always try to put myself in the other mother's position. I live on fifty acres, some folks live in teeny apartments, our lives aren't the same, the advice shouldn't be the same! I think everyone has hard-line issues though. For example, if I read something about some husband who did something physically abusive, I'd tell her to run, run, run for the hills no matter what else she said about it because that's my experience talking, I know what's probably going to happen if she doesn't.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:52 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • My receptiveness has nothing to do with the "type" of mother as much as it does the factual basis of their advice and their ability to give me factual information to back it up.

    However, there are some "types" of moms I'd completely blow off because of their parenting practices. If you do things I consider seriously morally wrong and dangerous or act like you seriously hate your children and want them to just stay away from you, I'm not likely to take any advice from you on parenting.
    RanaAurora

    Answer by RanaAurora at 7:00 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Here's my chance to find out what 'crunchy' means.
    callmeann

    Answer by callmeann at 7:01 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Ditto what Liz said about listening to the crunchy mom! I always try to at least consider the suggestions given to me from other moms...because I have learned a lot just being on CM!
    aurorabunny

    Answer by aurorabunny at 7:02 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Do you have preconceived ideas of how other mothers raise their children? I don't necessarily have preconceived ideas about the way another mom raises her child, but you can get a general idea based on the behavior of the child. Do you actually listen and learn, or do you feel you know as much as you need to already? If the advice is given in an open, non-judgmental way, I will at least listen to it even if I don't take it.  For example, would you consider the advice of a mother you saw as "crunchy" or would you dismiss her experiences? I am pretty crunchy too, so I would not dismiss her experiences.  If someone is all or nothing in their beliefs about being 100% organic and natural though, it is hard to talk to them openly because I would feel that I am not crunchy enough.

    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 7:11 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Why the h-e-double hockey sticks did my answer come out so ginormous?
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 7:12 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

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