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i have a two year old who... you guessed it... never sits still... and i need good advice on discipline, ive tried a number of things as has my soon to be husband, with us both being young we tend to revert to spanking him but to get anything other than a laugh we feel like we're beating him, time out is somewhat effective and we have tried that, im also ADD so its hard for me to stay consistent which i believe may help to solve my problem... please help!!!!

i am 19 and my fiance is 22 our son is 2 and we live in a small somewhat congested household in a not so good neighborhood, we have a dog, and its all beginning to make me a little crazy, i dont want to take every day life's stress out on my little boy and with all of this together it makes it hard to focus on him and his needs, we've done great so far but i want to do better and provide great upbringing and allow him to be a good person

 
mikeysmom1989

Asked by mikeysmom1989 at 7:26 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (13)
  • Good for you for maintaining your sanity in a congested household, neighborhood, while you're 19 with ADD AND with a 2 yr old!! That's a lot for anybody to handle, and it sounds to me that you're really making an effort to be the very best Mom that you can be. Stick with that, remembering that ADD can run in family genetics. What worked or didn't work for you? Wish I had more to offer, but my boy is 2 and full of energy as well. Some days it's all I can do to keep up. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.
    PeachMom329

    Answer by PeachMom329 at 9:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • It sounds like you are very very frustrated with normal two year old behavior. I would get a book on normal toddler development and then you can see whether he is outside the norm. You can also read The Happiest Toddler on the Block. It has some good ideas for toddler discipline. Good luck!
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 7:29 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • For what types of infractions do you need to discipline? Different things work on different situations.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 7:30 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • My 3 year old son is VERY hyper - always running around - wont listen - talks LOUD etc - everyone (teachers, dr, family) keeps telling me its normal for boys. I am worried because now I have a 6 month old boy also and dont wanna do this again in a few years LoL Its hard!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I have 3 boys. Boys are LOUD, Hyper, Messy, and totally ONE TRACK minds!
    But mine are also sweet, kind, thoughtful, and loving. It's a package deal
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 7:38 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • My son is three - so I am not sure if you will have the same results- BUT what we did was stopped getting irritated and frusterated by the "little" things- if he threw a tantrum I always used to put him in time out- if he screamed, time out, any little infractions and he went into time out- it didn't work for us- SO we made a sticker chart. For every nice thing he does, he gets a sticker- when he fills his page he gets to watch a movie or do something special with us. We also turned off the TV. This has TOTALLY changed his behavior. he still gets time out if he hits or hurts someone, but I had to let go of the little things and start focusing on the good- the problem you may have- you MUST be consistant. With any form of discipline, if you aren't you can just confuse him. Good Luck! I have found it is WAY harder to focus on the good at first- especially after a long day- but after a few days- our life is much better for it! :)
    jessicasea

    Answer by jessicasea at 7:41 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Two year olds and sitting still just don't go together and that's completely normal. Now that the warmer weather is almost hear you can get him outside every day to run around and play. (Take him to a park if you don't have a good place to play at home.) See if you can dedicate a space where you're living that's a "safe" zone for him. Someplace where he's less likely to get into trouble.

    I'd reserve time outs for serious offenses like hitting, biting, and kicking. For the rest, a firm no and redirecting his attention should do.

    Giving him specific, positive feedback when he's behaving can work wonders too. (It worked for me in the classroom and it works for my two year old twins.)
    Are you taking medication for the ADD?? My BIL was finally diagnosed as an adult (either ADD or ADHD) but he's a much more focused parent when he's taken his medication. Just a thought.
    twinclubmom

    Answer by twinclubmom at 8:25 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • first off stop spanking...their is nor eason to hit a child unless they are doing something violent towards someone else and its needed. your hitting out of frustration...that is you losing control.
    i do timeouts withmy 2 yr old an dit works. a toddle rwill test you constantly...and your letitng the lil one win. they misbehave. tell them..timeout time you misbehaved, sit them down..if they wont stay in a chair or on the couch...put them in a travel crib where you can see them clearly and tell them timeout for 2 minutes and you have to calm down. when they calm down, give them a hug. consistency is key...you ahve to keep doing it. toddlers arent adults, they dont learn instantly. your young...i get that..but tahts no excuse to hit your kid. that doesnt help..only theaces them that violence is the answer to problems.
    my 2 year old apologizes, says please, thank you, goes to her timeout spot without us pushing etc. i do timeout
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 8:50 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • UMM, what does you being young have to do with spanking. I know alot of teen mom, including myself, who had kids at 16 and NEVER layed a hand on our kids. Im smart enough to know how to discipline. My kids get time outs. You dont have to spank, you have to be mature, and SMART,.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • Well one thing you need in this situation is patience and being consistant. Every child knows what to do to get to you. For one dont feed into their temper. Im still working on it with my son, but one thing he knows is his tempers dont work with me. I do use a NAUGHTY CHAIR, and if he gets louder i have him sit in my room until he calms down. Then after he has to explain what he did. I let him know that its ok to be fustrated but that kicking and screaming isnt going to get him far. But dont spank .. that only turns into agression later on.
    brit041

    Answer by brit041 at 11:14 PM on Mar. 20, 2009