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You and your boyfriend have been dating for 5 years. He is a good man who does not raise his voice to you, who trusts you completely and is very respectful. However, when the subject of marriage and children with him, comes up, he makes it very apparent by word and body language that this is the last thing he wants. How do you deal? Should you stick it out and forgo your dream considering he is one of the good guys out there or should you keep looking for a man who shares the same dream you do?

The man is 40 years old and the woman is 25 years old.

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Asked by Wawakwane at 9:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • tough question ... if marriage and children are what you want, then you must pose the question directly to him about what he wants. You deserve to know exactly what he doesn't want. It would be really hard to stay with him if he doesn't want the same things as you do. And there is someone that wants to be married and have children with you out there. Go and ask him directly what he wants out of the relationship, if they don't match and you can't live with that, then I think you know what you have to do. hard but, necessary...

    Answer by BreakingFree at 9:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Good Guys are Hard to find!!! ...but if your life goals are not the same...Would you be happy not being Married with children? That is a lot to give up. tough situation....hopefully he will reconsider. Just go one likes to be pressured into anything.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 10:08 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Well, he's not one of the "good duys" if he has committment issues. Not saying anyone should marry the abuser just for the sake of marriage. But if you want marriage and kids then he is not the "good duy" for you because his dreams are not your dreams. He's still a good guy, but will never work if dreams are different. My friend just divorded a good duy after 5 years because he didn't want kids and she does.

    Answer by seakla at 3:14 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I was in this same situation a few years back. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 39, we have been together for almost 5yrs. I thought about leaving him when we were only together for a couple of years, because he wasn't sure if he wanted anymore kids(he already had 4kids from a previous marriage). I decided to give him a little more time, because I truly did love him and now I have my precious 9mo old baby boy. My BF realized that he loved me and wanted to make me happy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have to decide if you are willing to give him some time to come around(because he may just be scared of the commitment) or if you just want to leave and not waste your time. That is a decision that only you can make though. You do definitely need to have a long discussion with him and let him know where you stand though

    Answer by princessamber5 at 11:22 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • i was in this situation,we both had already been married once befor,we talked about it and he said he would never do it again.i thought about it because it was important to me,but came to the conclusion that he was to good of a man to let go because he didnt want to get married,3 yrs later he asked me to marry him and wre getting married in june...

    Answer by lifeisgood176 at 3:40 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

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