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Honest opinions

My boyfriend and I have it rough from the start, we pretty much got pregnant as soon as we met. Well, it's 2.5 years later, we had our fights and tried to work it out but lately I notice some big differences. He can't get it up even if we haven't had sex for a long time (referring to weeks to months), he's constantly thinking about his looks and spending secretive times on the phone. I know these are signs of cheating but I have no idea when he would cheat on me because he's going to be working from home soon and he spends most of his free time with me and our daughter (but he could on his lunch break or his once a month golf outing(he's done it before with other girls)). What else could it be cause it's starting to eat at me and he simply won't talk to me. He's only 28, so, he's pretty young too.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I don't know maybe you need a break, like you two go out together on a "date" to get that spark back, me and my bf, got pregnant right away too and it's going on 4 years, but we talk. just straight tell him something is bothering you and you want to talk about it. maybe go to counseling?
    WhatevaItTakes

    Answer by WhatevaItTakes at 10:40 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • i agree with PP i think "date nights" work wonders for relationships better if it can be a sleepover. MY fiance and i had a blowout fight last week his mom called to see if we wanted to come over and he asked if DD could so we could get dinner and she offered to keep her overnight. We went to dinner rented a movie and just hung out. We fell asleep really early (a glass of wine can work wonders) we didnt even have sex we just wanted to relax and we have been getting along better since.
    Kennadismom

    Answer by Kennadismom at 10:44 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • You are feeling uncomfortable now about vague (and not so vague) things about him. You can try couples counseling, or you can start a new life without him. You can also just let things go on as they are, but are you really happy this way? Start making plans to how you will take care of your child without him in the picture except for child-support. At least have a bank account in your own name and with money in it. If you don't have a job, get training and get a job. Do this now. At the same time, if you think you want to live with him for the rest of your life, then get counseling. You think he is cheating. Do you really want to live this way always. You can always ask him if he has found someone else. Perhaps he'll be truthful. If he isn't cheating then counseling for sure.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • sounds like he is cheating on you. what you have described are common signs of cheating.If you ask him he will probly deny it , they dont usually come clean about it that easily. If you snoop oonly do it long enough to confirm his cheating then dont do it anymore, you will only make yourself crazy. start thinking now of your options of what to do. should you stay or should you go and how are you going to do that,etc. goodluck, my heart goes out to you.
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 10:46 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • That is SO weird, other than the golf thing I might as well have written that question myself!!!! I got pregnant a month into our relationship, got married and now 2 years after being married he's doing these same things!! only he hates golf, he DJs instead!! with girls, and used to invite girls out until i checked his phone and found out! he password protects everything, and has to log out of the computer before he'll walk away! he closes things or logs out even if I just walk by!! but swears up and down that he'll never and has never cheated on me. And Can NOT keep an errection when we have sex!! this is so weird! We are like.. the same... I feel for you, lol.. cuz i am SOO living your life!!
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 10:58 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

  • I think that lack of sex or not getting it up isn't a SURE sign of cheating but it's possible. Here's what I'd say. Try date nights but be subtle so there's no pressure to "fix" the obvious right away. Get to know each other. Also, are you caring about your appearance and body? Not to seem unkind, but that makes a difference. If you're working out and feeling good about your general appearance, he'll feel that too. You also want to remain sexy and attractive and not this "let it go" type of gal that had a baby and doesn't care anymore. I'm not saying that is you. I'm saying it's important to still be as hot as you can be for your own self esteem and also so he's interested.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:02 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

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