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I'm afraid that ny baby's father will make me stay in the state with my daughter...please help!

I am planning to move across the country with my 9 month old daughter, to be near my family. My baby's father and I broke up a few months ago, and I don't get along with his family (especially his nosey mother).
He told me he didn't have problwm with me moving and taking the baby, but now that I'm starting to make some definite plans, he's starting to act differently. He keeps saying how he's not going to see the baby grow up, and that he'll miss the both of us. (He only sees the baby 2-3 times per month, even though he only lives less than 10 miles away).
Do you think he's changing his mind, and will try to keep us from moving (via court order)? I can just imagine his mother "encouraging" him to do so (she hasn't visited my daughter in 5 months but complains to her family and friends that she can't see the baby! Whatever).
What do you think I should do? Should I move quickly before he changes his mind??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • No, he can't stop you from moving. Especially if you're already moved by the time he brings up the issue --- and I think we all know how slow the courts move.

    As for cost of visitation and such, it's usually a 50/50 deal.

    It's true.... kids are better off with both parents (when both parents want to be parents, that is), but when comparing seeing dad 2-3 times per month to living with a depressed & isolated mom 24/7... I think the move wins out. If he wants to be more active in his child's life... there's nothing stopping him from moving, too.

    G'luck
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 11:49 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • keep this in mind- if you move away many times the court will order that you pay the transportation costs for the child to see her father.
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 10:11 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • No, you should get a lawyer & go to court to get custody of your daughter & set up child support & visitation. In the custody agreement you can set it up so that he has no say where you live. But you will have to be fair on visitation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I've never given him a problem about visitation...he has an open invitation. We're still on good terms. The only reason I want to move is because I have no family, friends or support here...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I think it's a big no no to move so far away. Your child needs both parents. You are an adult now and can visit your family or they can come visit you. I never agree with any child be away from any parent. It's not fair to the child. If he is doing what he is supposed to as a father there is NO reason to leave.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I think it's important for a mother to be happy too...I'm very depressed here...how would YOU like living in a place with ZERO friends, ZERO family and no emotional support? It's not easy for me, and I don't want it to rub off on my daughter. And it's not that easy for me to visit family...it would equate to once a YEAR...that's not much. It would be easier for HIM to visit us in our new home state.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • My oldest daughter is the product of an emotionally abusive relationship. Her sperm donor and I were never married either. He saw her maybe once a month, and eventually fell out of the picture. If you were not married when you gave birth, he legally has no rights. He could still court order a paternity test if he wanted to be a pain in your butt. But, I wouldn't worry about it. Do what you think is best for your daughter.
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 10:26 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I am in the same situation and it's not about you it's about the child. Go make friends. Join local moms groups and local play groups but how is that fair to the child because of how YOU feel? You asked a question, people are giving opinions so so get PO'd if you don't like the answer.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I understand completely on what you mean about you having no one around. I would got to court and get custody of your daughter, be sure to discuss visitation your best bet would to do every other holiday with her. You will probably have to make the travel plans though but also let him know that your moving for your family not to take your daughter from him. GL
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 10:33 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • What kind of custody do I pursue?

    ***

    I believe a happy mommy=a happy baby...if I'm not happy, neither will my daughter be happy...so it is about ME as well as HER...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

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