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How do you get your 21yr old kid to LISTEN??????

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Um ... 21 years old means they are an adult ... they don't have to listen to you anymore. You can suggest things and give them advice, but you can't force them to do what you want them to ... unless you're paying for things of theirs, like college or cars, etc. Then you could tell them you're not paying for those things anymore unless they do X.

    Answer by ap9902 at 11:00 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Yeah, I have to go with you ap, why on earth would you try to get a 21 yr old to listen? How about letting them make their own stupid (lol) mistakes and learn from them, that's the only way that lifes lessons will stick.
    IMO don't do the 'I will stop helping you if you don't do what i say' that one might turn and bite you in the butt. Maybe let them know that if they want to do whatever, then they are going to take responsibility and do everythign for themselves.

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 11:22 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I can't give any better advice than ap9902. We pay for our oldest sons education and room and board. He may be 18 and live on his own but he knows he still has to listen. Otherwise if they are on their own, all you can do is give advice. If they make a mistake just help them out and keep the" I told ya so'" down....but you can slip in a few....LOL

    Answer by pnwmom at 11:23 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Its not easy but it can be done. Do they live at home? My daughter is 21 and thought she knew it all.She figured because she was an adult he could do and talk however in our house...NOT happening. She had a rude awakening when we thru her out. Hse ended up getting her own apartment, and hard to grow up. she now has a great job, new car, own place and best of all respect for others. Sometimes you just gotta make them grow up. We raised our kids kinda old school. we did not buy cell phones or cars for them. If she wanted it she had to work for it. I did cosign for her car but i dont pay it. She was mad at first and said all her friends had their cells/cars bought for them. But in the last year since shes moved she tells me over and over how she thinks we did the right thing and thanked us. They will listen if you cut the apron strings. Their adults, let them prove it.

    Answer by desperateat48 at 11:34 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I've always taught my kids that no matter how old they are, they'd better listen. I mean things like picking up after themselves in my house. I have a 22 yo and 24 yo here, they make more messes than the 2 year old. I also mean that they will never be old enough to back talk. If they want to talk like an adult, I will listen, but they will never be old enough to be disrespectful. When my son and his 27 year old wife lived in my guest house, it was a nightmare! She never though she had to listen. Everyday she would do something she knew would make me mad. One day she decided to clear a huge area of my woods. She would steal tools all the time and leave them laying all over the ground. When my hubby picked them up and put them away she accused him of stealing her tools.Everyday was a new nightmare, It never did any good to tell her to ask before destroying my property. I am so glad she is gone!

    Answer by LoriW at 11:55 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • 21 = adult not kid .

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • show him/her the door!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I agree with ap. At 21 they are adults. If they still live with you thats a little different, they should still be following house rules but aside from that they make their own choices.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • 21 is a little late to start trying to get them to listen.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 4:26 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Coming from a 22 year old; You don't.

    Answer by Asherahh at 8:17 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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