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Am I over reacting?

Ok my husband has the memory span of a freaking goldfish, no joke! I have to nag him to remember to do ANYTHING, literally if I do not remind him over and over shit doesnt get taken care of. Anyway, he knows it burns me out having to always remember everything for everyone, but it hasnt changed! He just says "oh I just have a bad memory" So our 3 week old dd has been in the hospital with RSV since wednesday, I have not been able to leave at all as I am exclusively BF'ing. All I asked was that he get the car payment sent, the cell paid and the cable paid. Has he? NO Too top it all off I haven't slept since being here AT ALL, he slept from 12:30 last night til now, wanna know what his excuse was? HE IS TIRED? Excues me? I just had to call and beg the cell and cable not to shut off our service! And now he is mad at ME for getting upset with him! He is mad because I snapped at HIM! Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up?

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Asked by SweetPea05 at 12:36 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 8 (230 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Anyway, I just want to feel like I can count on him in times like this and I can't! It is so frustrating and really I just wanna knock him out right now! GAAAAAAAAAAAH

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:36 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I know what being in the hospital with your child is like. My daughter had RSV and was in the hospital in another town for 5 days. My husband has a terrible memory too. I text message him all the time. I would be upset. Is there anyway you can pump, or have him come down to sit with your daughter while you take a walk after you feed? I stayed in that hospital room for 4 days straight. Finally, the last day, my husband insisted I go for a walk. I felt so much better afterward. You are stressed out, and have a constant reminder that your baby is suffering. He needs to be more understanding of what you are going through. I don't think you are overreacting, it does help to know that you have someone you can rely on. You two need to figure out a system of reminders so that he can get things done and you don't have to constantly feel that you are running uphill in sand to get him there. Good luck Mamma!

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:46 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Thanks, I have teased him before that I am going to pin a note to his t shirt lol. Most days its kind of funny how bad his memory is, but when stuff NEEDS to get done it pisses me off. And that is the other thing, he promised me he was going to get up at 7 am so he could go pay the bills and get over here asap so I could leave for an hour or so. It is now almost 11 am and he hasnt even left the house yet. I am really getting burnt out!!!!!!!!!!!! That is why I asked the question lol My judegment is impaired by lack of sleep adn I dont know if I am being too hard on him!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • My hubby is the same way. Id be annoyed and upset too but at the same time, if its not gonna change why let it eat you up...kwim?

    Maybe something should get cut off so he'd get the thought through his head, even if it would drive you or I up the wall for that to happen...

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 12:55 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I'm sorry but it really sounds like he has a selective memory rather than a poor memory. People with selective memories tend to only remember to do things that are pleasant or bennefit them. From what you've told us from just your OP, it sounds like he thinks of himself first and doesn't really have the ability to put you first or consider your needs or feelings. My husband can be that way on a much smaller scale. If there's something he REALLY does not want to do, he'll tell me he forgot or he can't remember me asking him to do it until I get so annoyed that I just do it myself. If he did that with absolutely everything, leaving all of the bills and stress and lack of sleep to me....I don't think I could be in that marriage. Sorry. Marriage is a partnership and we are here to support each other. I'm not his mother and I didn't marry him so that I could coddle and pat his hand like a child and do everything myself.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:04 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I know how it is to constantly have to remind someone to do things, its frustrating, you have every right to be mad!

    Answer by dairyberrys at 1:37 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Screw him that's f**ked he has no reason to be tired. He should be helping you as much as possible.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:25 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I used to take my ex's cell phone and program reminders into it when it was important. If he ignored the first one... I put it in there two or three times. it pissed him off to have his phone going off for my reminders, but it got things done. lol.
    If your hubby doesn't like it... tell him to take some ginko to make his memory better.

    Answer by emmetsmom09 at 4:46 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Somedays I do think he has a selective memory I am not gonna lie. I love him, but there are days I just wanna throw something at his head to see if it will knock things back into place! lol And I did, the phone got disconnected and he was just like OOPS ugh. I have to say this really is my only big complaint in the marriage, he is romantic a great daddy and works hard, he just cannot seem to remember a damned thing...... and it is ANNOYING when things are hard like they are right now! Anyway thanks ladies, Maybe I will suggest the ginko or cell reminders.... does ginko really work?

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 7:22 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Awww hun I am so sorry! I don't think you are over reacting. I hope your LO gets better soon and you can get back to your normal life. **HUGS**

    P.S. Men are cry babies and they make me sick most of the time. My BF does the same crap about sleeping...if he doesn't get 12 hours a day he thinks he is dying. It irritates me to no end...and he also has a "bad" memory...or a lazy memory as I like to call it.

    Answer by kngarber at 7:41 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

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