Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you feel about MIL coming over without calling first?

MIL, comes over to stay the night, don't call first, come when she knows we are just getting up on weekend, my husband thinks i'm making too big of a deal out of this. I say call first! what do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I have family members that do this (not to spend the night though) and it bothers me. They have no idea if you have something already planned and they're imposing. They have no idea if you even want guests right now. They just come right on over lol. It's rude and it is a violation of your privacy. Your DH ought to be more supportive of you and perhaps he isn't because it is his mom? If saying "dear, it bothers me when she comes over without calling first, especially when I'm looking forward to enjoying something and her visits force me to change my plans" isn't enough for him to talk to his mom...that SUCKS. You're a team and if something bothers you, he needs to talk to his mom about it. The best thing that you can hope for is to hope that her intrusion interrupts something he wants to do someday...maybe when it interferes with plans HE has, he'll understand how you feel?

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Call first!!!!! I would be so pissed in my inlaws did that. It is not respectful. Your husband needs to understand why you feel that way, and maybe talk to his mother about it.

    My SIL invites herself over all the time and stays for hours. I finally decided that if they want to see the baby, then we will go to their house; that way we can leave when we want to.

    Good luck!

    Answer by Jordanlover05 at 1:03 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • She owes you and your family the respect of calling first.
    Id say something to DH and her if it kept happening.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 1:57 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • i despise when people show up at my house unannounced!!!!!!!!!!! i freak out and DF says i overreact also i think its just inconsiderate and rude. I would do it to her show up at like 2 am or right after you know she is sleeping. Call it childish but thats what id do

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I don't see the issue. She is your mil. She should be welcome in her sons home when ever. Both of our mothers, and pretty much all of our brothers and sisters have keys to each others homes. Not that any of us ever lock the doors anyway. And none of us ever call to say we are coming over. We are a close family. It's not like a guest is showing up unannounced. It's family.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 4:22 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • My FIL just shows up, but he only lives a few minutes away and if we are busy he will gladly leave and go home. My mother on the ohter hand is 60 minutes away so she always calls. I think coming over and expecting to spend the night is rude, but just dropping in for a visit is not.

    Answer by aeneva at 7:54 PM on Mar. 21, 2009